Burning Heart
by The Silent Scream
Summary: After Pat's fall into the Hellmouth, Willow devotes every free minute to finding her. When unexpected activity at the Hellmouth brings both the Slayer and her there though, neither of them is prepared for what they will find there. Rating for violence and language. Willow / OC est. relationship
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Ugh I hate make summaries. This story is gonna have quite a few graphic scenes in future chapters, so if that is not your cup of tea, I recommend skipping those (I will put warnings to the chapters in question)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Burning Heart

"How likely is it that she will come back?", Buffy asked in a low voice, making sure that in the next room, Willow couldn't hear her, "can you even tell?"

"No", Giles gave back with a sigh, and an unhappy look at the Slayer, "there's no way to tell. I wish I could, but… we know nothing about this. If we knew where she went, where she is right now, if she even is still alive…"

With her dismay clearly showing through her features, Buffy glanced around the back room of the Magic Box in response, remembering how often she had sparred with Pat in this room, finding it hard to believe that now, this would never happen again.

"Willow is working on finding out where she is", she said out loud, tearing her mind away from the now painful memories, "trying to modify the locator spell…"

"She told me, yes", Giles gave back, keeping his voice low still, knowing that the witch was in the store's main room, getting more supplies for said spell, "and I didn't have the heart to tell her it might not work. This is what helps her deal."

"And keeps her from going over the edge, I know", Buffy glumly finished for him, throwing an uneasy look at the door leading to the main area of the store; it had been a week since the demon had thrown herself into the Hellmouth to stop the magic within her from connecting to it and unleashing something dreadful onto the world, and so far, Willow seemed to be holding up fine, devoting all her energy into finding her partner, working practically non-stop on the locator spell to succeed with the modifications needed to find her lover.

"But sooner or later, if it doesn't work, it won't help anymore", she added after a moment, making the Brit nod, "and who knows what she might do then…"

"She might go dark again", Giles told her, rather bluntly, "as we both know. Or, perhaps, the fact that she still carries a child within her will keep her from doing something so drastic. It is hard to tell."

"And impossible to find out", Buffy grumbled, "because she refuses to talk to me about it. Whenever I try to bring up Pat, she changes the topic."

"Which is not surprising", Giles gave back, earning a sigh from her, "what happened to both of them was a traumatic experience, and you know firsthand how difficult it can be to talk about something like that."

"Yes", the blonde sighed in response, "but she's bottling up those emotions while carrying all that darkness. I just worry for her Giles…"

"I know you do", the Brit reassured her, "we all do. And hopefully, Willow knows, and knows that all of us are ready to be there for her the moment she needs us to. For now, she chose to deal on her own, and we should respect that."

"And I would, if I didn't have to fear her going dark", Buffy sighed, "but you're right, we can't force her. I'll go back out there now, see how she is doing, if she needs anything…"

Nodding, Giles briefly reached out, placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze; Buffy weakly smiled back at him, then made her way to the door and stepped out of the backroom, immediately spotting Willow, the witch standing with her back to the door leading to the backroom at one of the shelves, studying the contents of a dusty glass jar.

"Hey", the blonde smiled, moving to stand next to her friend, "whatcha looking at?"

"Dragon's Blood", Willow gave back, prompting Buffy to take a closer look at the jar, briefly relieved that it wasn't filled with red liquid, but with chunks of reddish-pink resin, "it's one of the plants associated with fire. Might be useful for the spell."

By now, Buffy knew, Willow had amassed a veritable collection of all things associated with that particular element; from plants to stones and even weapons, knives and staffs with complicated carvings on them to chunks of rock which had been lava years and years ago, making use of them all as she worked on the spell to find her lover.

"So", Willow started in a casual tone, a tone which didn't fit her next words at all, "you got done then discussing with Giles if I'll try to end the world again?"

All Buffy could do was splutter in response, a not all too dignified reaction; briefly, the witch smiled at her, pulling the jar out of the shelf as she spoke on, her tone still casual and calm, to the blonde's evident relief.

"No worries, I don't blame you", she told the Slayer, moving to the counter and holding the jar out to Anya, "I can't blame you. But I can calm you down, I am not about to go dark again. As long as there's the tiniest hope that she's somewhere out there…"

In response, the blonde just nodded, not having the heart to tell her what Giles had said; Willow gave her a small, sad smile, showing that she knew perfectly well even without being told, then accepted the bag Anya had filled with Dragon's Blood, not really surprised anymore when the ex-demon told her it was for free – whenever she found something even vaguely associated with fire, the brunette just gave it to her instead of charging her for it, the redhead figuring that this was one of her ways to deal with what had happened.

"Thanks", she smiled, earning a nod from the other woman; she carefully stowed the bag into her handbag, then made a vague gesture at the door leading outside, asking Buffy if she wanted to come along or if she still had stuff to do at the shop.

"I'll come", Buffy gave back at once, the witch having been living at her house ever since the incident, neither of them wanting to leave her alone at the apartment after what had happened, "Dawn should be home from college by now, maybe she can try to help you again."

Nodding, Willow gave her another smile, a slightly happier one this time; even though Dawn's forays into magic hadn't been as extensive yet as the witch's had been when she had been her age, she was capable of casting minor spells by now, and of aiding the redhead with her more complicated magic, having done so with the locator spell whenever Willow had requested it from her.

"Let's go then", she then said, already moving, the Slayer right behind her, "maybe it'll be successful this time…"

Again, Buffy just nodded, silently asking herself how many more times her best friend was willing to try before she'd give it up, and what might happen then; then, she pushed those thoughts aside, telling herself that for now, there were other things to worry about and that surely, everything would turn out fine in the end, giving her best to ignore the little voice in the back of her mind which told her that this time, a bit of magic wouldn't be enough and that much worse things were to come.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright", Willow mumbled an hour later, after having readied everything for the new and improved locator spell, a bowl of the Dragon's Blood and the other, standard ingredients, a map of Sunnydale and, after a few rather unpleasant incidents during previous tries, a second bowl, this one filled with water, both Willow and Dawn mindful that currently, no one with an immunity to flames was around.

"We got it all", the witch added, after taking another critical look at the setup, "are you ready?"

"Yes", Dawn bravely replied, earning a small smile from the redhead before she took in a deep breath, then grasped both of the brunette's hands with hers; closing her eyes, Dawn gave her best to empty her mind, to reach the level of calm she knew was necessary for the magic to work the way they wanted it to.

The fact that she worried just as much about the usefulness of this endeavour didn't make this exactly easier for her; just like during the previous tries to locate the demon, she asked herself how useful the map of Sunnydale exactly would be, if perhaps, the spell had no chance to work out because the black haired woman was nowhere near the town anymore.

 _If she's even still alive,_ her treacherous mind whispered, making calming down even harder, _jumping into a Hellmouth is not exactly something one should do to improve their health._

Forcing those thoughts aside, she took in a deep breath just like Willow had done, momentarily squeezing her eyes shut as she fought to empty her mind; sensing her turmoil, the witch gave her hands a brief, reassuring squeeze, waiting another minute to give Dawn more time before she started muttering the chant under her breath, the fact that both of them had their eyes closed keeping them from seeing how the Dragon's Blood at first began to smoke, then to melt.

The smell of the melting resin reached their nostrils not long after, making them both frown; it wasn't exactly an unpleasant stench, but didn't smell all too nice, either, both of them keeping their eyes shut though, Dawn's hold on Willow's fingers tightening slightly as the redhead kept up the chant.

Just as the witch said the last word, the resin went up in flames with an audible _foomph_ , making them both flinch; it burned merrily for a few seconds, both of them staring at it, then vanished into nothingness with a surprisingly loud pop, a brightly glowing light forming on the map moments later, right where they both knew the Hellmouth was located.

With a small gasp, Dawn stared at the light, this being the first time that the spell had had any kind of effect which did not involve the map randomly bursting into flames; Willow was staring intently at the map as well, only to frown as more lights popped up around the one locating her partner, until a total of seven was shining on the paper, forming a cluster at the Hellmouth.

"What does that mean", Dawn wanted to know, frowning, "you had the spell search specifically for her, right? And I doubt there are seven of her now?"

"No", Willow mumbled, her frown deepening as she tried to figure out what this meant, "maybe something went wrong or… I don't know, I got a bad feeling about this. Maybe you should get Buffy and…"

The glowing lights all seemed to melt into one, intensifying until both Dawn and Willow not only had to look away from the bright glow, but had to shield their eyes, as well; already anticipating fire, Willow blindly groped for the bowl of water they had readied, finding it moments later and taking firm hold of it as she squinted at the map, briefly relieved that the light was dying down again – before it exploded into a glow so bright that it nearly blinded her, leaving afterimages dancing in front of her eyes as she scrambled backwards, Dawn doing the same with a small squeak of surprise.

"…get Buffy", Willow brought out in a trembling voice while the light died down once more, "we need to check the Hellmouth, now. Something is going on there, and we better don't take any chances."

Nodding, Dawn came to her feet, then hurried off to find her sister; and while she did so, Willow remained where she was, looking down on the map, her heart racing in her chest as she tried to figure out if she really had heard the loud growl originating from the bright glow or if she had imagined it, if it had been caused by her overwhelming need to finally gain some results from her spells. To her dismay, Dawn hadn't shown in any way that she had heard anything, prompting her to doubt the reliability of her own ears; on the other hand though, she had been the one who had done the actual casting, and she knew that it was quite possible that thus, the growling only had been audible to her ears, especially if it had been caused by supernatural means.

Even though part of her knew that it might just be wishful thinking, caused by a need to be given some sign that her lover was out there somewhere, alive and well; a bigger part of her though was convinced that she had heard it – and that it had been a growl she had heard a million times during the previous years, sounding exactly like Pat's.


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy hadn't questioned it when Dawn had told her that something was going on, but merely had picked up the nearest weapon, had told her sister to stay where she was and had asked Willow if she was ready for some serious magic, should it be necessary; Willow just had nodded in reply, and now, they were on their way to the old High School, walking side by side briskly and in silence.

"So", Buffy was the one to break it, making the witch look at her, "the spell showed you that something is going on at the Hellmouth? How?"

"At first, it seemed to finally work", Willow gave back, "a little light appeared on the map, at the Hellmouth, just like it was supposed to. But then, more lights came, and they all sort of… clustered together, and it got really bright. So if Pat didn't get multiplied while she was wherever she went after falling down there, it's some other sort of powerful mojo, and we should check out. Just to be on the safe side."

Nodding her agreement, Buffy glanced at her, asking herself if she really was dealing as well as it seemed with this new failure of the spell; now that it had brought some sort of result, it had given the redhead a purpose, but still the blonde found herself worried about what might happen once whatever was happening at the Hellmouth had been dealt with and Willow had time to think about the fact that it had been yet another failure.

The ruins of the old High School up ahead distracted her from those thoughts, and she sped up her pace slightly; next to her, Willow kept up with her easily, not even slowing down when she started gathering her will and power as she walked, the feeling that something bad was about to happen too strong to let her ignore it – and if years of living on a Hellmouth and fighting next to the Slayer had taught her anything, it was that listening to her instincts usually wasn't a bad idea.

"Something's gonna happen, alright", Buffy murmured next to her, her hand falling on the hilt of the sword she carried in a sheath on her hip, "I can feel it in my bones, as clichéd as this may sound."

"Me too", Willow gave back at once, making the blonde glance at her yet again, "and I'm not sure right now if I should be happy or not that it's not just me."

"Probably not", Buffy replied, with a slight grimace, "I guess in my case it's Slayer intuition and in yours, magic, or perhaps your Goddess helping along a little bit. Either way, I'm quite sure…"

She trailed off as they both spotted movement up ahead, in the ruins of the High School, both of them slowing down, then stopping and just watching; the figures, six of them, were too far to see any distinctive features or details, but what they could see was that three of them clearly were not human, their shape all wrong for that, and that they were marching in perfect lockstep, one of them up front, the remaining five forming a vague v-shape behind him, fanning out so each one of them was visible and each one could see what was up ahead.

"Soldier guys?" Buffy guessed, keeping her voice low even though she knew that, in this open terrain, they had seen her the same second she had spotted them; next to her, Willow shrugged, then shook her head, automatically adjusting her own volume to Buffy's as she replied. "Pretty sure they're not from our army… Unless they hire demons now, too."

"Good point", the Slayer had to admit, then fell silent as the small group by now was getting close enough to let them see more of them; and moments later, her breath hitched in her throat and she heard Willow gasp next to her, the redhead even taking a step back, as if to distance herself from what they both had seen at the same time.

It wasn't the fact that, even though half of them clearly were not human, they were wearing uniforms very reminiscent of the ones the US Army wore, or that modifications had been made to the uniforms of the non-human ones, allowing room for tails and special tailoring for limbs which bent in ways a human limb never should; what startled them both was the fact that Pat was marching right behind the one in the lead, in her human form, a sword sheath belted to her hip, her face showing no sign of recognition as the group approached the two women.

"Goddess", Willow breathed next to Buffy, sounding as if she was close to fainting; not daring to look away from the advancing group though, the blonde didn't even glance at her, keeping her focus fully on the group, taking in the rest of them now that her brief shock at seeing Pat among them was fading.

The one in the front, clearly the leader, had made no effort to hide he was a demon; his skin was a deep red, forming a stark contrast to his black lips and yellow eyes, pointy horns curling from his forehead, his bare feet ending in hooves, the blonde catching a glimpse of a forked tail every now and then as it swished from side by side behind him as he walked.

Behind him, to his left, another demon was walking, with green, scaled skin and a head vaguely reminding Buffy of an overgrown lizard; just like the leader's eyes, his were yellow, slit like a cat's, a pointy tongue darting out from between his thin lips every now and then, his tail, unlike the demon's in the lead, not moving as he walked, but hanging down behind him, the tip dragging over the asphalt.

The last obvious demon of the bunch was also the tallest, and the one who Buffy thought looked grossest – where a mouth should have been, his face had a writing mass of tentacles instead, all of them moving as if in a slight breeze, his skin an unhealthy, pastel-green colour, his eyes having the same tint, the fact that they had no pupils, but were one colour throughout unsettling the blonde just enough to send a small shiver down her spine.

The other two, looking human just like Pat, were nothing all too remarkable, she thought as the group came to a halt not far from the two women, looking as if they would fit into the daily life of Sunnydale just as well as the black haired woman; from what Buffy could tell, her friend was the only woman of the bunch, but on the other hand, she couldn't be sure about the gender of the other demons, the uniforms hiding any clues their bodies might have given about that question.

"Slayer", the one in the lead greeted her, clearly knowing who she was even though apparently, they just had come out of the Hellmouth, "and your friend, the witch. It is an honour to meet you, that you are the ones to greet us here."

"Not exactly a welcome committee", Buffy gave back, still keeping focused on him, even when she heard Willow whisper her wife's name next to her, the demon not reacting the slightest, making it unclear if she hadn't heard her or if she was ignoring her; her features still were unchanged though, a neutral, detached expression, her gaze focused firmly on some point behind the Slayer, neither looking directly at her, nor at Willow.

"The sword your hand rests on tells me that you are not here to welcome us with open arms", the horned demon told her, "but it would be wise of you to not fight us now. As you can see, we outnumber you, and none of mine is afraid of shedding blood."

"Pat", Willow now said again, louder this time, still not getting a reaction from the black haired woman though; the leader demon's gaze moved to her, then a slight smile curled his lips, exposing surprisingly white, disturbingly sharp, pointy teeth, the sight being enough to nearly make the redhead take a step back yet again.

"She's not answering to that name anymore", he then told her, his smile widening when he noticed her swallow heavily, "and she's not yours anymore. It is my pleasure to introduce you to my right hand, my general… The Burning Heart."


	4. Chapter 4

At the last two words, Pat snapped to attention as if she had been startled out of a deep slumber, her right hand landing on the hilt of her sword while her gaze focused on Buffy; at the same time, Willow let out a watery breath, her heart hammering in her chest so hard and fast that it almost hurt.

"What did you do to her", Buffy demanded to know, her voice now hard as steel, "she never would have joined you willingly."

"It did take a bit of work, yes", the leader demon responded, "but she is mine now. What we did to accomplish this is of no importance anymore."

"She's not yours", Willow gave back, fighting hard to keep the tremble out of her voice, something which became considerably more difficult when she noticed how her lover's grip on the sword shifted; it was just a tiny movement, one which would have gone unnoticed by someone who didn't know what to look for, but still enough to change her posture from merely attentive to ready-to-draw, the witch swallowing heavily again as she asked herself how close exactly the taller woman was to attacking them.

"Now, now", the leader stated without looking at her, "we are not going to fight yet, my friend. Relax."

"As you wish", Pat rumbled in response, her grip on the sword relaxing again, her palm resting loosely on the hilt now; and even though she just had said a few words, it had given Willow a chance to realize that her voice was even hoarser than it had been before, her heart cramping up painfully as various possible reasons for this came up in her mind, and none of them pleasant.

"Alpha", the tentacled demon now said something, as well, to Buffy's dismay sounding as gross as he looked, as if he was trying to gurgle and to speak at the same time, "if we do not fight, then why are we here?"

"We don't fight _yet_ ", the leader corrected him, again not looking at him, but keeping his gaze fixed on Willow, while the blonde wondered if "Alpha" was his name or some sort of title, then shrugged it off, figuring it didn't really matter, "there will be enough time for fighting later on. For now, you know what we have to do."

His gaze shifted again, focusing on Buffy once more; he smiled again, then raised his right hand and saluted her, giving her a chance to see the sharp claws, golden rings flashing in the sunlight; and while Buffy took in those details, Willow noticed nothing of them, her gaze focused on her wife, her hands clenched into helpless fists as the taller woman didn't acknowledge her at all, not even looked back at her.

Now that she had the chance to take a longer, closer look at her, the witch noticed all the small changes, her mind filing them away for later consideration; where the demon's wedding ring had been, she now was wearing a silver band, and only now, the redhead realized that her ruined eye looked different, as well – the eyepatch was gone, but where before, an almost circular region of scar tissue had been, there now was a long, thin scar, splitting her eyebrow and running down over her destroyed eye, ending an inch or two below the lower eyelid, the witch dully finding herself wondering what had happened.

"Pat, please", she said out loud, even though part of her already knew that she wouldn't be able to get through to her, that whatever had been done to her in wherever she had ended up had changed her too much for a few simple words to fix it all, "you're not with him, you know you're not with him…"

There was no response from the demon, not even a change of her expression; the leader, Alpha, merely let out a small chuckle, then shook his head, something which was disturbingly close to sympathy in his voice as he was the one to answer her. "I told you, witch, she is not answering to you and yours anymore. I suggest you come to terms with this fact until we meet again, or your end might come much quicker than anticipated."

He saluted her as well, then turned sharply and marched past his little group; they waited till he had passed them all, then turned as well and followed him, none of them looking back, the witch and the Slayer looking after them in helpless silence, asking themselves what was happening, who this demon was and what he planned for Sunnydale, possibly the world, and them, in the long run.

* * *

"Nothing", Giles sighed out two hours later, taking off his glasses and rubbing at his eyes tiredly, "there is no mention of a demon named Alpha in any of my records. Or of a demon group using this as title for their leader."

"The shapeshifters called their leader that", Buffy mumbled, briefly glancing at Willow, the witch sitting next to her on the couch and having been staring at the same page of the book the Watcher had given her for the last ten minutes, "but I doubt those guys were shapeshifters. And seeing where they came from, perhaps they…"

"…aren't even from this dimension", Giles finished for her, making her nod glumly, "we should ask Anya if she knows anything about a demon with this name or title. Willow, do you think you can locate them?"

He waited a few seconds, then exchanged a concerned look with Buffy as no reaction came from the redhead; shifting slightly on the couch so she was sitting sideways and more or less facing her best friend, Buffy reached out and placed a tender hand on her arm, not surprised when she flinched visibly, then gave her a startled look.

"Willow", Giles said again, making her gaze move on to him, "do you think you can locate those demons?"

"I can try", Willow gave back tonelessly after a moment, "now that they are… here, the spell should work for Pat…"

"We'll get her back", Buffy told her in response, starting to rub her back now in an attempt to calm her down, "you know we'll get her back, right?"

"She almost attacked us when I talked to her", the redhead reminded her of what had happened, finally looking at her, the pain of what had happened catching up with her and causing tears to well up in her eyes, "if he hadn't told her not to, she would have… She's so far gone Buffy…"

"We'll get her back", Buffy repeated as an answer, giving her best to sound more convinced about this than she felt, "no matter what they did to her, we'll undo it and we'll get her back."

"The Immortals tortured her looking like me", Willow gave back, a few tears escaping and rolling down her cheeks, "and they didn't break her… But these guys did, whatever they did to her, they broke her, made her one of them…"

Not sure what to reply to this, Buffy just kept rubbing her back, shooting Giles a helpless glance; in response, the Watcher merely shrugged, looking just as destitute about the situation as she was feeling, and clearly not having an idea what he could say to make it better, either.

"Before we can do anything, we have to locate them", he said after a few more seconds had ticked by in uncomfortable silence, "perhaps, if we manage to get Pat away from them, take her with us, we can undo whatever they did to her."

"Call Anya", Willow gave back after taking in a few deep breaths to calm down, telling herself that he was right, that he had to be right, "ask her about this Alpha guy, if she knows anything. Tell her to come here either way, with enough supplies for a locator spell."

Immediately, the Brit got up to do just that; snapping the book she had been staring at shut, Willow took in another deep breath, then looked at Buffy, her voice surprisingly calm and steady when she spoke on.

"Giles is right", she stated, making her best friend nod, "our best chance is to get her away from them. It won't be easy though…"

"No", Buffy agreed at once, "it won't. If she really is his right hand, and he didn't just say that to mess with us, he won't be keen on losing her. So they might try to protect her, to keep us away from her."

"Yes", Willow nodded, "but if we can get her back, we can try to undo whatever is they did to her. If she isn't too far gone…"

"Come on", the Slayer gave back with a slight smile, eager to make her best friend feel a bit better, "she's snapped out of complete insanity for you, remember that? Not to mention all the other things she did and accomplished, just because of you. She can't be that far gone, no matter what they did to her."

"Hope so", the redhead sighed in response, still feeling glum; Buffy gave her another smile, then reached out and grasped her hand, briefly, but reassuringly squeezing it, both of them just sitting in silence afterwards as they waited for Giles to come back and tell them what he had learned, the witch's heart heavy as she thought of her lover and asked herself how far gone the black haired woman truly was.


	5. Chapter 5

"Seeing you surely shook them up", Alpha commented at the same time, sitting comfortably in his chair while the members of his group were moving back and forth around him, setting up camp for the night in the ruins of the old High School, "you know they will try to get you away from us."

"They can try", the black haired woman replied, briefly glancing up at him before she focused on the task at hand again, namely sharpening her sword; as his right hand woman, setting up camp wasn't one of her responsibilities, but one of the jobs given to the lesser members of the army.

"Your loyalty is unquestioned", Alpha told her, smiling slightly, "I know you would never let them take you willingly. I also know though that the Slayer and her friends are the biggest threat to our success here. Once they come, I want you to let yourself be captured by them."

"Sir?" the demon gave back, her surprise evident, even stopping the sharpening of her sword, the wetstone resting against the lower half of the blade; in response, Alpha reached down and briefly touched her shoulder, nodding to tell her she had heard him right, his voice kind, but firm when he responded.

"Yes, Burning Heart", he confirmed it verbally as well, "I want you to let them capture you, and let them take you to their hideout. I have no use for the Slayer, but the witch… she might be very useful for us. If she survives the initiation process, that is."

"I will let them capture me, if you wish it, my Lord Commander", the Burning Heart let him know, resuming the sharpening of her weapon, a wickedly sharp, saw-toothed blade, a blade made to maim and kill and not just to incapacitate, "but it is risky. They might realize I'm loyal to you and yours, and kill me."

"The witch never would let them kill you", Alpha reassured her, not bothering to tell her why though – he had worked long and hard to make sure her devotion to the witch was gone, and even though he was sure that his methods had erased said devotion completely, he wasn't willing to take any risks, not when they were so close to reaching their goal.

He knew that sending her to them was a risk, that the witch and the Slayer might find a way to reach the parts he had taken care of so well; still, he also knew that he'd need the information she could gather for him, and that the witch might be an invaluable ally and might help them to reach their goals faster than expected.

"I trust in your loyalty", he added, "and I know you are up to the task I have for you. Find out as much as you can about the witch, her friends, everything you can learn. Then, take the witch, make sure to take her alive, and bring her back to me."

"As you command", the Burning Heart gave back, making him smile; he briefly patted her back, then nodded to show that she had been dismissed and focused on the rest of the group and their progress with setting up camp, smiling to himself as he already thought of the magnificent training he would put her through, and the results it surely would bring.

* * *

"I brought the things you need for the spell", Anya let the three know shortly after Giles had called her, holding up the bag she had brought as if to underline her words, "and some information, too. I am sure it will be valuable!"

"Spill", Buffy almost ordered in response, the ex-demon momentarily looking indignant, but then not protesting, but merely nodding, sitting down before she gave them the information they wanted.

"Alpha is both a title, and a name", she explained, "a rank in a certain demon dimension. Once a demon reaches this rank, he or she gives up their name and are only referred to as Alpha anymore, or as Lord Commander, if they are in the field with soldiers."

"So they lead an army, then", Willow added, "we know this already, they were wearing uniforms. Kinda like ours, actually."

"Not an army, exactly", Anya corrected her, "Alphas are used for very specialized, small teams. Four to seven demons, either for scouting out new areas or for hitting single targets, two at the maximum. Hallie and me once had an Alpha with his group after us, but we handled him."

"Obviously", Buffy pointed out, "or you wouldn't be sitting here. So… they are either here to scout out Sunnydale, or to take someone out. Three guesses as to who that might be."

"They'll know all about us", Anya gave back, taking the remark about three guesses way too literal, "because Pat is with them. So they'll go after you, Buffy, and possibly after you, too, Willow."

"Which is why we have to hit them first", the Slayer replied, making the brunette nod eagerly, "take out as many of them as we can, and make sure to get Pat out in one piece…"

She trailed off as she noticed Willow's odd behaviour; while Anya and she had been talking, the redhead had emptied the bag Anya had brought along, now staring at the map, the way she was frowning at it showing Buffy that she was thinking hard about something.

"Willow?" she tried to gain her attention, "what is it? Something missing for the spell?"

"No", Willow gave back, tearing her gaze away from the map and looking at the blonde again, "I just realized… when we did the locator spell, it showed at first only one light, and then there were seven. But when we met them, they were only six."

"Maybe they left one behind at the Hellmouth", Buffy hazarded in reply, "or one of them was invisible. Wait, no, I don't like that thought at all, cause that meant he or she could have come here with us."

She glanced around nervously, even though this wouldn't be of much use in case an invisible demon was in the house with them; clearing her throat, Willow gained her attention again, gesturing vaguely at the map as she spoke up again. "If there is an invisible demon who followed us, we'll know in a minute. I'll do the spell now."

Nodding, Buffy still glanced around while the redhead prepared everything; to her relief though, nothing happened while Willow got done with her preparations, and no one tried to interrupt her out of nowhere when she began the spell, as always mumbling the words under her breath, just loud enough for the blonde to hear.

This time, only six lights appeared on the map after she had finished the spell, she heard no growling sounds and the map didn't burst into flames; at least though, Willow told herself as she studied the map, the spell showed no demon located at Giles' home, the Watcher and the Slayer both looking quite relieved at this.

"Seems as if they set up camp at the Hellmouth", Buffy stated the obvious, "no surprise there. Think they just were about to check us out when we ran into them? Or that they were about to go scouting and we surprised them?"

"Depends", Willow gave back with a sigh, "on how much Pat told them. If they knew that I'd be searching for her, they might have known that we're coming, and moved to meet us so we wouldn't surprise them."

"Well, they'll be in for a surprise now, then", Buffy gave back, determination hardening her face, "cause we're going in right now. Hit them fast and hard, confuse them, then grab Pat and get out with her. Will, we're gonna need some spellwork for that, flashes and bangs if you can do that."

"Sure", the witch gave back at once, "that's quite simple. I can conjure up a whole firework for you if you want me to."

"Whatever is necessary", Buffy replied, "and perhaps keep the binding spell ready, we don't know how Pat will react to us taking her along. If they… convinced her that she's with them, she might try to resist."

Even though she didn't like the thought of using her magic to bind Pat, Willow merely nodded, swallowing heavily; giving her a reassuring look, the Slayer silently told her that it would be alright, then came to her feet, prompting the redhead to do the same a moment later, both of them shaking their head when Giles asked if he should come along.

"If it's just the two of us, it'll be easier to get in and out quickly", Buffy then explained, "we're not going there to kill them all, our first goal is to get out Pat. That's easier to coordinate if it's just Willow and me."

"Alright", the Watcher agreed, slightly reluctantly, but figuring that the blonde was making a good point, "but please do be careful. It would be quite dreadful if they'd manage to capture you."

"They won't", Buffy reassured him, then looked at her best friend again and asked her if she was ready; Willow merely nodded in response, and together, they headed off, soon on their way to the Hellmouth again, both of them hoping that their simple plan would work out the way they wanted it to.


	6. Chapter 6

The area around the ruin of the High School was surprisingly quiet, neither humans, nor demons or vampires in sight, even though the sun had gone down by now; this made Buffy wonder if the arrival of the demon group had scared the vamps away, then she shrugged it off, telling herself that she had to focus if they wanted this little mission to be a success.

Next to her, Willow was breathing slowly and deeply, making sure to reach the level of calm she needed to work her magic; she had meant it when she had said that spells to make flashing lights and noises were quite simple, but still she couldn't be upset or distracted when casting them, knowing how quickly even such simple spells could go wrong, become dangerous and seriously hurt someone.

"Alright", she mumbled to Buffy as they stopped at the halfway ruined stairway leading down into the cellar, and to the Hellmouth, "ready when you are."

The only response she got was that the blonde nodded, then pulled her sword from the sheath; and then, without another word necessary, she charged in, not even bothering to be quiet, Willow right behind her, magic flashing in her palms as she prepared the first spell.

The first one they met was one of the human looking guys, and he had a mere second to look surprised before the redhead unleashed her magic, bright flashes of light exploding all around him, startling and blinding him long enough so Buffy could take him down, something the blonde did effortlessly by ramming the hilt of her sword against his forehead, a low gurgle coming from him as his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell.

Without wasting another look at him, Buffy hurried on, the witch right behind her still, more magic crackling around her hands; the thought of how Pat had looked at her, that uncaring, cold glance, as if she was looking at a complete stranger and not the woman she was married to, gave her a surge of emotions, something she used to power her spells, setting her jaw in determination as she let the magic fly yet again the second she spotted their next opponent, the second obvious human of the bunch, standing guard in front of the doorway leading to the Hellmouth.

To her slight embarrassment, she had to admit though that perhaps, drawing power from her emotions wasn't something she had under control as well as she had thought; even though she only had been planning to do the light and noise spells Buffy and she had agreed on, her magic packed an extra punch, the guy's head snapping to the side as the lights exploded all around him, his body going limp moments later.

"Whoops", Buffy commented, clearly not all too perturbed, "good one, Will. Two down, three to go."

Momentarily, Willow was glad that obviously, the blonde didn't count her lover as one of those who still had to go down; then, she told herself not to be stupid and that Buffy would never harm the taller woman voluntarily, remembering what the Slayer had said about their top priority being to get her wife out of there.

So far, at least, this seemed to work out the way they wanted it to; two of the Alpha's group were down, and the remaining ones looked quite surprised when they came barging into the room in which the Hellmouth was located, clearly not having noticed anything of the attack so far, the leader jumping to his feet while next to him, Pat did the same, one hand already falling onto the handle of her sword.

"Take them down", Alpha barked, "both of them! Leave the witch alive, but kill the Slayer!"

Hurriedly, Willow focused on her lover, giving her best to not let the anger she could see in the taller woman's gaze stop her as she gestured at her, conjuring up the binding spell which had helped them in hairy situations so often by now; a surprised and angry growl came from the demon when the concrete shot up and wrapped around her ankles, and after a second, she started hacking at the stone, even though she should know that physical force wouldn't be enough to break the magical binding.

The fact that apparently, she didn't, was only another sign for how badly she had been broken by these demons, and only angered Willow further; she didn't even notice that she had begun to growl lowly in the back of her throat as her gaze focused on the leader, her hand coming up and all her anger showing through her voice as she snapped a single word, a pained snarl coming from the Alpha when he got hit by an invisible force and thrown backwards, until the wall stopped his flight and he slumped down.

A snarl from her right distracted her from taking him out fully, and she glanced over, just in time to see the lizard-like demon charge at her; an absurdly long, forked tongue shot from his mouth and lashed at her, drawing a burning line across her cheek as she jerked her head aside in the last second and avoided taking it full in the face, blood running from the gash in a fine sheet moments later and dripping to the floor.

"Hey, greenie", Buffy snarled, distracting him from his target, "don't you know hitting pregnant women is off limits?"

Her sword was rammed through his mid-section before he could come up with a reply, and he let out a gurgle as he went down; not wasting a second, Willow bound him, as well, just in case the wound wouldn't be enough to finish him off, then focused on the last demon still upright, the one with tentacles dangling from his upper lip and obscuring his lower lip and jaw.

To her relief, her spell apparently had been enough to take the leader out, since he still was slumped against the wall, unmoving; Pat was still hacking at the stone binding her, with little success though, and with the tentacled demon facing both Buffy and her, he didn't stand much of a chance, a combination of magic and the Slayer's sword sending him to the ground mere seconds after they both had focused on him.

"Well, then", Pat snarled, distracting them from their brief moment of triumph, "what are you waiting for? Finish me off, too."

"No", Buffy replied at once, reaching into her back pocket and bringing out the pair of handcuffs she wisely had taken along, "you're coming with us. Don't try to resist."

She tossed the cuffs to Willow, then raised the sword in a threatening fashion, underlining her words; to her relief, the threat apparently worked, since Pat dropped her own weapon, then let it happen that the witch moved over to her and cuffed her hands behind her, taking hold of her arm afterwards before she broke the binding spell, the demon letting out a low grunt when the stone fell from her ankles and allowed her to move again.

"Just come with us", Willow mumbled as she started leading her towards the exit, the taller woman to her relief walking with her willingly enough, "we're not gonna harm you, I promise. We just want to help you…"

The only acknowledgement she got was another low grunt, and her heart clenched up; steeling herself against the emotions, she took in a deep breath, then kept moving, the taller woman walking along next to her, the redhead's mind already racing as she tried to figure out how to find out what they had done to her lover and how to undo it, how to bring her back to the woman she had been before she had fallen into the Hellmouth.


	7. Chapter 7

"So what now?" Buffy asked once they had made it back to her house, thankfully without running into anyone who might question why they were leading a handcuffed woman through town; she kept her voice low, not wanting Pat to hear her talk, the demon having been moved to the bedroom Willow had been using for the past week, with the small hope that this might trigger a few memories and help with bringing her back.

"I need to find out if they changed her with magic, or did… something else", Willow gave back, sounding slightly absent-minded as she was busy brewing up a potion, one which hopefully would help her to do just that, "if it's magic, perhaps I can undo it fairly quickly, if it's not…"

"Then we'll undo it, too", Buffy reassured her, telling her just what she needed to hear, "no matter how long it takes."

Nodding, Willow took in a deep breath, then focused fully on the potion again; realizing that talking to her might be a bad idea, the Slayer fell silent, watching how she added a few more things to the mix, then mumbled a short spell, the mixture briefly glowing before it went back to the way it had been before.

"Alright", the redhead murmured, carefully lifting the pot and pouring the mixture into the glass she had readied, adding a straw afterwards, "now let's hope I can get her to drink this."

"I'll come with you", the blonde offered, not surprised when Willow shook her head at once, but not liking it, either, something which became evident from the look on her face.

"I don't want her to feel threatened", the witch explained at her best friend's expression, "so if I go in there alone, she might be more willing to cooperate. It's safe, she's still handcuffed…"

"Fine", Buffy agreed with a sigh, knowing she wouldn't be able to talk Willow out of this, "but I'll wait right in front of the door. Just in case."

Nodding, Willow gave her a slight smile, then got moving, making her way upstairs; just as she said, Buffy went with her, stopping just out of sight in the hallway, getting ready to burst into the room the second she might hear a noise she didn't like.

Giving her best to appear relaxed, calm and non-threatening, the redhead entered the room, finding Pat exactly where they had left her, namely sitting on the bed; her hands were still cuffed behind her, and she glanced at the witch as she entered, her expression uncaring and detached again, not a flicker of emotion in her good eye as she watched the smaller woman approach.

"I got you a drink", Willow told her, holding up the glass as if to underline her words, "you must be thirsty."

The only response she got was a slight raising of an eyebrow, the scar running through it moving along with it; momentarily, the witch wondered what exactly had happened to scar her like that, then shrugged it off, telling herself that she would find out soon enough, moving closer to the bed slowly, then holding the glass out to the demon, adjusting the straw so she could easily reach it.

To her relief, the taller woman didn't refuse the drink, emptying the glass surprisingly quickly; afterwards, she let out a little burp, then her gaze focused on Willow again, the redhead forcing herself to not hold her breath so her partner wouldn't notice that she was waiting for a reaction.

She knew that, if any spells had been put on her, the result would be a faint glow which would appear in a minute or two; feeling uncomfortable at how the black haired woman just kept staring at her, and finding herself unable to look away from the new scar across her eye, the witch fidgeted as the seconds ticked by, her heart sinking when she had counted almost three minutes and nothing had happened.

"Okay", she mumbled, taking a few careful steps closer to the demon, ready to jump back the moment Pat would make a move, "we'll try something else then. Please hold still, I promise I won't hurt you…"

She took in a deep breath, then reached out with both hands and took tender hold of the taller woman's head; she closed her eyes, relieved that Pat didn't try to fight or attack her, taking a few more moments to make sure she was calm enough before she focused on the spell, mumbling it under her breath, focusing on the magic which would allow her to look into the demon's memories.

For a few seconds, she almost could see the tendrils of magic, seeping from her fingers and into her wife's mind; and then, bright light flashed up in front of her eyes as the connection was established, and she…

…was alone, in the dark, again. That wasn't so bad, she had learned since she had come here; being alone meant no new pain, just dealing with the pain that was there already. They had made her uncomfortable again before they had gone, as they always did, facing the wall as she stood pressed against the cold stone, chained spread-eagled at wrist and ankles, gagging her and pulling the thick, stinking hood over her head, but even though her muscles were aching from the position, it was better than having them around again.

Still, she knew that they would come back, that they weren't finished with her; they had asked her who she was again before they had gone, and she had spat at them in reply, and they had hit her and then had laughed, telling her yet again that she might as well give in, that no one would come for her.

 _They're wrong,_ she told herself as she stood there, shivering in the cold every now and then, burning pain all over her back and the back of her thighs from the whipping, _they'll come. Willow and Buffy and Giles and Xander… Willow… Willow, please come._

Resting her forehead against the cold stone, she closed her good eye, breathing deeply through her nose in an attempt to control the pain; and while she did so, she kept listening as hard as she could, knowing they would come back again soon and that they'd do horrid things to her yet again, make her scream and cry and bleed until she…

The connection broke so fast that it made Willow's head spin, and she had a second to realize that it hadn't been her who had broken it; and then, Pat's hand was around her throat, squeezing just enough to cut off her flow of air and to keep her from crying out as she forced her backwards until her back hit the wall, her breath leaving her in a helpless, all too quiet gasp as the demon held there, the rage and hatred which now burned in her good eye showing the witch what a big mistake she had made.

* * *

"Please", Willow brought out, not daring to speak too loud or to cry out for help, not wanting to imagine what Pat might do if Buffy came storming in, "don't… I can help you, please…"

"Shut up", the demon pressed out between grit teeth, "witch. Putting lies into my head."

"Those were no lies", the redhead gave back, even though she knew she might only endanger herself more, "this happened… They did this to you, those horrible things…"

The grip tightened around her throat and cut her off, a pained gasp coming from her as now, it began to hurt; still, she stood unmoving, not fighting back, not wanting to agitate the taller woman even further.

"I am the Burning Heart", Pat now told her, still squeezing so hard that she could barely breathe, "I am my Lord Commander's trusted general. He would never allow this."

"He did this to you", Willow immediately gave back, taking the chance given to tell her the truth about what had happened to her, "maybe not he personally, but he ordered it… So you would join him, fight for him…"

She fell silent as the grip around her throat briefly tightened even further, fully cutting off her flow of air now; then, it relaxed again, just enough to let her breathe again, and she let out a shaky breath, fighting hard to hide her fear from the taller woman.

"He knows you're strong", she pressed out, somehow managing to keep her voice steady, "knows what you are… that you know all about Sunnydale, about Buffy, me… and he did this to you, or had them do this to you, so you'd help him, and he'd have it easier here."

"No", the demon replied, not as fierce as she had sounded before though; and just for a second, Willow saw the flicker of doubt in her good eye, immediately latching on to it and speaking on, her voice frantic now.

"Yes, it's the truth, and you know it", she told the black haired woman, "deep inside, you know it… You're not the Burning Heart, no matter how often they told you that, you're Pat Rosenberg, my wife…"

She trailed off, not sure what else to say, which words would be the right ones to make her see; for a few moments, they just kept looking at each other, neither of them noticing what was going on behind the demon – until the cold steel of Buffy's sword almost gently touched her throat, the Slayer's voice dangerously calm when she spoke up. "Let go of her."

Within the blink of an eye, the hard and uncaring expression was back, any trace of the woman Pat had been before this gone, the Burning Heart fully in control again; she held on to Willow for a few more seconds, then the pressure of the sword's tip against her throat increased, and she let go, a low growl coming from her as she let both hands dangle down her side, giving them both the chance to see what she had done to free herself from at least one of the cuffs.

"Goddess", Willow brought out in a tiny voice, unable to take her gaze away now that she had seen the dislocated thumb; giving her best to not let it show how much this freaked her out, as well, Buffy kept the sword where it was, and her gaze focused on the taller woman, even when she addressed Willow next. "Will? Some magic here?"

For a moment, the redhead thought that Buffy wanted her to heal the demon, then realized what the blonde really was aiming for; she swallowed heavily, still not liking the thought, but nodded, then raised her hand, mumbling under her breath, the magic forming around her wife's wrists out of nowhere, jerking her hands behind her back and binding them there, a low noise of surprise coming from her as she found herself securely tied once more.

"Sit back down", Buffy told her in a no-nonsense voice, glad when it worked out the way she wanted it to, the demon briefly looking at her before she moved back to the bed and sat, still holding her gaze, not even a hint of fear or discomfort in her voice as she replied, even though from what the two women could tell, her thumb was still dislocated and had to hurt pretty badly.

"So", she stated, just the hint of a growl in her voice giving away some of her emotions, "what do you want with me, then? Why not kill me?"

"We want to help you", Willow was the one to answer that, after Buffy had given her a barely perceptible nod to tell her it was okay, "we're not your enemies… I just want you back…"

The strain of the previous week, days during which she hadn't known if Pat even was alive or not, and the shock of seeing her alive, but on the side of their new opponents, with apparently no memory of her and of who she had been before her fall into the Hellmouth, finally caught up to her as she said the last few words; she broke off as her voice cracked, then squeezed her eyes shut and turned away, not wanting the callous, uncaring person her partner had become to see her cry.

"Willow", she heard Buffy say behind her, her voice full of concern; she just shook her head in reply, then hurried outside, the blonde looking after her for a moment before her gaze focused on Pat again, anger momentarily filling her at the uncaring look the demon still had on her face, forcing her to tell herself that this wasn't Pat's fault and that getting angry at her wouldn't do any good.

"Stay here", she thus just said, suddenly feeling awfully tired, not having an idea how they might solve this, "don't try anything. And don't hurt yourself again."

Without giving the black haired woman a chance to reply, she turned and left the room, closing the door behind herself; she heard quiet sobbing in the living room and briefly closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath as she told herself once more that this wasn't Pat's fault, that whatever had been done to her and whoever had done it was to blame – before she made her way downstairs to give Willow some comfort, knowing that this was what her friend needed now and that for now, it was up to her to provide it.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: This is one of the chapters with a more unpleasant scene, so for the faint heart, better be cautious :/

* * *

"They tortured her, Buffy", Willow told her in a toneless, quiet voice ten minutes later, after having calmed down enough to tell her what had happened before she had them found them with the demon close to choking her wife, or breaking her neck, "she drank the potion and there was no magic on her, so I looked into her mind and… I didn't see much before she grabbed me, but…"

"Her eye", Buffy replied quietly, swallowing as she thought of the new scar, looking so different to the one she'd had before, "did you see what…?"

"No", the redhead gave back at once, shaking her head, "I didn't see that, but… what I saw was bad enough… she was in so much pain, and who knows what else they did to her…"

"No matter what they did to her, we'll get her back", the blonde reassured her, reaching out and grasping her hand tenderly, "it might take longer if it hasn't been done with magic, but we'll get her back. You know that, right?"

After a moment, Willow nodded, taking in another deep breath to keep her calm; momentarily, she felt like crying again as she remembered how much pain her lover had been in, how afraid she had been and how much she had been hoping they'd come and get her out of there.

"She was waiting for us", she told the blonde, swallowing heavily as a thick lump had formed in her throat yet again, "to come and… get her out of there… but we never did…"

"We would have if we had known", Buffy gave back at once, "she has to know that, part of her has to know that…"

"How could they do so much damage to her", Willow asked herself out loud, not even properly acknowledging what Buffy just had said, "it's been a week since she fell! How could they break her so much in one week?"

"Remember, time isn't the same in all dimensions", the blonde pointed out in response, realizing what this was implying too late to take back; for a few moments, the witch looked at her in shock, then her gaze dropped down to her feet as she swallowed heavily, a myriad of unpleasant possibilities whirling through her mind.

"She might have been there for years", she brought out, her voice barely above a whisper now, prompting Buffy to move closer to her so she could put one arm around her, "and they had all the time in the world to torture her until she broke…"

"We'll get her back", the blonde promised her in reply, not sure what else she could say, "no matter what it takes, what you need from any of us…"

"I'll talk to her again", Willow decided in reply, to the blonde's evident surprise and concern, "she's still somewhere in there, and I'll just have to reach her once, make a connection…"

"Be careful", the Slayer gave back after a few moments of silence, moments during which she had realized that nothing she could say or do, except perhaps knock her best friend out, would keep her from going to the demon again, "and… I know you don't to hear this, but in case she gets free again and attacks you…"

"I'll bind her or something", Willow finished for her, to her relief, "I don't want to hurt her, and I won't if I can avoid it, but right now, she's not thinking the same way…"

Nodding, Buffy briefly rubbed her back in what she hoped was a calming and reassuring gesture; the witch gave her a brief smile, then got up from her seat and headed back upstairs, eager to speak to her wife once more and see if perhaps, whatever had been done to her to make her act this way could be undone.

* * *

The moment she entered the bedroom, Willow could tell that something was wrong; just like before the leader demon had said her name back when they had first run into the group, Pat was staring into nothingness, but this time, sweat was trickling down her brow, and she was breathing heavier than she should, just sitting there and doing nothing else.

"What did you do to me", she demanded in a strained voice the second the redhead had moved into her field of view, "how did you put these things into my head…!"

"I didn't put anything into your head", Willow gave back, cautiously approaching her – technically, she shouldn't be able to break free of the magic binding her, not even by dislocating her thumb or other fingers, but on the other hand, she couldn't know if perhaps, her partner had learned some new things while she had been with the group of demons, if they had taught her how to counter such magic after they had broken her and had made her one of them.

"I accessed something which was already there", she added, taking another step closer when Pat made no move to attack her; briefly, she was reminded of the time her wife had been under a malevolent spell which had forced her into a feral version of her demon form, and of how she had approached her just as cautiously back then, then shrugged those thoughts off, telling herself that she had to focus on the current situation and that dwelling on the past wouldn't do any good.

"Let me see", she went on, moving yet another step closer, "I can help you with this if you let me see…"

Since Pat neither denied, nor accepted her request, she moved closer, until she stood right in front of her; she took another close look at the demon, glancing over her shoulder to make sure her hands were still bound, then reached out with both hands, briefly relieved when Pat didn't try to avoid her touch, but let it happen that she placed tender fingers against her temples, taking in a deep breath again before she called on her power.

This time, the connection established faster than it had before, the bright light flashing up just a few seconds after she had taken hold of the taller woman, a small gasp coming from Willow as she squeezed her eyes shut…

…a low groan of protest coming from her as the demons dragged her along behind the one who had greeted her and had welcomed her to his army. She still felt dizzy and nauseous from the fall, and thus only managed weak struggles against them as they moved along behind the leader, unimpressed by her protest and tries to break free; after a while, the one up front stopped, then made a vague gesture with one hand, the black haired woman watching with unease how a portion of the ground in front of him slid aside, revealing a stairway leading down into the dark.

Briefly, the leader glanced back at her, smiling, then started the descent; his cronies followed at once, still dragging her along, and she struggled to get her feet beneath herself, not wanting to get pulled down those stairs, but finding herself unable to break free as they simply held her tighter.

They took her down into what appeared to be a system of tunnels, marching through them at a brisk pace now, too fast to let her still clouded mind memorize the way; finally, after quite some walking through the tunnels, they reached a rather large cavern, the leader stopping in the middle of it, a surprised grunt coming from Pat when the two dragging her along let go of her and she ended up flat on the ground, not having expected this at all.

"Again, welcome", the leader now addressed her while she managed to get up on her hands and knees, then struggled to her feet, "I am a bit surprised that you are here, instead of the sorcerer I was promised, but I'm sure we'll find a good position for you."

"I'm flattered, really", Pat gave back, noticing how close the two other demons remained to her, figuring that they were ready to attack her the moment she'd do something they wouldn't like, "but I'm not available right now. See, I got a permanent gig in Sunnydale, not to mention my family there, so I'm afraid you'll have to find someone else to join your… army."

"I thought you might say that", the leader gave back, clearly unimpressed, glancing down on her hand, at the wedding ring she was wearing, "but have no fear, my friend, we have methods to change that."

Before she could snarl at him and tell him that she wasn't his friend, he smiled again, then made yet another vague gesture, directed at her this time; and before she realized what was going on, something hit her hard in the back, then shoved her forward, a surprised mixture of yelp and grunt coming from her as the unseen force easily ignored her tries to resist it and slammed her face first against the nearest wall.

"We'll start with a classic", the leader told her while from the corner of her eye, she saw him gesture again, heavy manacles snapping around her wrists and ankles seconds later, then pulling until she feared they might tear her apart any second, her muscles protesting by the time they finally came to a stop again.

"You", the demon said as he moved up to her, ignoring the growl she let out as he ran his hand down her back, "are no longer whoever you were before you came here. You are the Burning Heart now."

His hand shot up to the collar of her shirt, and with one movement, he tore it open, exposing her back; knowing where this would lead, she grit her teeth, telling herself that she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hearing her scream, but still unable to keep herself from letting out a groan as the whip cracked, tearing a brightly burning line of pain over her back.

"Strong and stubborn", the demon commented, bringing his arm back again, "I admire that in my soldiers. But, believe me, you might as well let the screams out now."

The whip snapped forward again, across her lower back this time; clenching her fists, she squeezed her good eye shut as he took his time with the whipping, leaving enough time between the single lashes to let her feel the pain of every single one.

It didn't take long until the skin broke for the first time, and blood started trickling down her back; and as if this had been some sort of signal, he increased the strength of the lashes, each one of them now tearing her open; but still, she didn't scream, clenching her fists so tight that her nails dug into her palms and gritting her teeth so hard that she feared they might shatter.

"Well, well, well", the demon let out after just going on in silence for what felt like an eternity, "quite stubborn indeed. And quite robust, other, lesser demons might have fainted by now."

"Fuck you", Pat pressed out in reply, making him chuckle slightly; from the corner of her eye, she saw him hold out his hand, and one of his cronies put a small glass bottle into it, handling it with so much care that she couldn't help herself, but just had to wonder what exactly was in it and what he would use it for.

"You're not my type", he let her know, pulling the stopper out of the bottle, "and I suggest you take in a deep breath now. Because in exactly one minute, you _will_ scream."

He took the time to study her back while he waited for said minute to pass, smiling at the deep slashes the whip had torn into the skin there, all the way from her shoulder blades down to her waist, and at the blood which was trickling from them; and then, after exactly one minute had passed, his hand shot forward, emptying the bottle over her back.

Just as he had predicted, this time, Pat did scream, a raw cry of agony which was practically torn from her throat; she had been burned with holy water before, and it had hurt, but it never had been thrown right on fresh, open wounds, the flesh sizzling audibly as the transparent liquid started running down her back, frothing and steaming, the stench of burning meat filling the cavern.

"This is just the beginning", the demon told her, handing the now empty bottle back to his minion, "until you accept your new name and place, we can and will do much worse things to you. Perhaps you might reconsider this permanent gig in Sunnydale now."

He smiled at her even though she couldn't see it, then turned away from her, having lost interest for now, focusing on the demon who had handed him the bottle, a definite tone of command in his voice now as he spoke up again. "Gag her, hood her, and then leave her. No one is to touch her but me for now. I want all my tools in here three hours from now."

"Yes, Sir", the demon almost bellowed in response, saluting; he received a benevolent smile for his efforts, then she heard him walk off while the one he had spoken to moved up to her and roughly shoved a wad of cloth into her mouth, muffling her helpless sounds of pain, then pulled the thick and stinking hood over her head, the first time of many they'd do this to her, leaving her alone in the dark with her pain afterwards, dreading the moment he'd come back to do more horrible things to her.


	9. Chapter 9

"Wrong", Pat let out in a strained, breathless voice as Willow broke the connection, not even noticing that she had started to cry at some moment during looking into the memory, fresh tears still rolling down her cheeks, "this is wrong… he didn't… he wouldn't…"

"I'm so sorry", Willow brought out in reply, the urge to hug and hold her suddenly so strong that she couldn't resist it, the fact that her wife was crying too only increasing the need, "if I had known… I would have jumped in there myself to get you out of this, I swear…"

Without thinking twice about how this might be dangerous, she wrapped her arms around the taller woman and held her, rubbing her back soothingly as she felt her tremble in the embrace; it was an awkward hug, with the black haired woman still having her hands bound behind her back, but this wasn't what made the redhead stop caressing her, her eyes briefly widening as a thought hit her.

Not caring if Pat noticed what she was doing and thought that it was strange or perhaps even something she was doing to hurt her, she took careful hold of the shirt the demon was wearing, then peeled it away from her upper body; a quick peek down showed her what she had been dreading to see, a thick lump in her throat all of a sudden, making it hard for her to speak up.

"I can prove it to you", she forced herself to speak anyway, momentarily hating herself for what she was doing to her lover – after enduring the horrible torture for who knew how long, Willow knew that Pat's only chance had been to give in to it, to let them break and remake her into the Burning Heart, a person with no recollection of who she had been and of what had been done to her, and here she was now, bringing all those terrible things back to the surface, but knowing that she didn't have a choice if she wanted to bring her wife back.

"I'll show you", she added, pulling back from the hug; to her relief, Pat didn't try to resist her when she carefully unbuttoned her shirt, then made it slide down her arms far enough to expose her back, gently pulling her to her feet afterwards and leading her over to the mirror.

"Look", she unnecessarily said as she made her turn so that her back was facing the mirror, keeping her gaze fixed on her face, ready to jump back or use magic the moment she'd do anything which could be interpreted as hostile, "I know this hurts, and I know you don't want to see this, but he did this to you…"

Slowly, the demon turned her head as far as she could, swallowing heavily when she finally could look into the mirror; dimly, she felt the witch place both hands on her shoulders, but didn't react at all, just staring at the part of her back which wasn't covered by the shirt anymore – and at the scars which were marring the skin there, lines of white, at parts slightly knotty tissue, an incoherent noise coming from her as she took in the sight – before her good eye rolled back into her head and her legs gave in beneath her, Willow's shocked outcry being the last thing she heard before the world went dark around her.

* * *

Alarmed by the cry she had heard from the bedroom, Buffy came bursting into the room, fists up and ready to fight; to both her surprise and relief though, she found the two women not engaged in combat, but Pat on the floor, Willow kneeling next to her, the blonde briefly raising an eyebrow at the fact that the demon's shirt was unbuttoned and hanging halfway down her upper body.

"What happened", she demanded to know, lowering her fists as she fully realized that no fighting would be necessary, "did she attack you…?"

"No", Willow replied at once, glancing at her for a second before her gaze focused on the unconscious demon again, "I did the spell again, to look into her mind, and… showed her that what we saw there was the truth, that they tortured her, she wouldn't believe it otherwise… it must have been too much for her…"

"No surprise", Buffy mumbled, "if they brainwashed her into thinking she's one of them, has been one of them for God knows how long, learning that this isn't the truth and what they really did to her…"

"She might shut down", the redhead told her, swallowing heavily at the thought of this unpleasant possibility, "go catatonic or… I don't know…"

A low groan came from the taller woman, making the witch fall silent as she focused on her again, her heart speeding up as she asked herself what the demon's reaction would be now, if she would simply shut down or if perhaps, she'd be back, if the memory had been enough to undo the brainwashing and bring her back as the person she had been.

Then, Pat opened her good eye, and one glance was enough to tell Willow that neither had happened; she had a second to take in the cold, uncaring look, to realize that it was the Burning Heart looking at her – and then the demon's hand shot up and closed around her throat, yet again, cutting off her gasp.

She had a second to regret that she had undone the magical bonds when the black haired woman had gone down, then Buffy's Slayer instincts kicked in next to her and her fist shot out, with the intention to nail Pat in the head and knock her out yet again; a second later, her eyes went wide as the demon's free hand moved up with shocking speed, catching her fist in a steel-like grip, not even letting go of her again when she gave a powerful yank, reminding her of the fact that she was almost as physically strong as she was.

Without taking her gaze off the Slayer, Pat flung Willow aside, a startled yelp coming from the redhead as she ended up on the ground, shocked by how callously the demon was tossing her around; before she could do anything else than stare though, the black haired woman let out a snarl, then her free hand shot up and punched Buffy straight in the face, a pained noise coming from the Slayer as the punch connected.

"Willow", she then snapped, after a quick look to make sure her friend was neither injured, nor unconscious, "bind her, quickly!"

"No", Pat snarled, still keeping the grip on her fist while her other hand moved to grab her shirt; Buffy had a moment to realize what she intended to do, but before she could do anything about it, the demon's muscles bulged visibly – and then she threw her, much harder than she had thrown Willow, sending her flying until she hit the wall head-first, a low gurgle coming from her as she slumped down to the carpet.

"Buffy!" Willow cried out, but not getting the chance to check on her – moving with shocking speed again, Pat crossed the distance between them with one big step, grabbing her and pinning her arms to her sides, one hand clamping down over her mouth to keep her from screaming or casting a spell, muffling her outcry.

"Quiet", she hissed into the redhead's ear, her grip only tightening when she started to struggle, a helpless cry coming from the witch as her index finger and thumb moved up to pinch her nose shut tightly, her palm still keeping her from breathing through her mouth; her struggles increased as her face reddened, panic setting in at the lack of air, but still the demon wouldn't loosen her grip on her, just holding on tighter to keep her movements down to a minimum.

 _She's killing you, do something!_ The small part of her brain which still worked rationally screamed at her, urging her to do something, anything; magic sparked from her fingers, falling to the floor uselessly, a low growl coming from the demon in response to her helpless tries.

"Stop it", she then grumbled at her, not all too impressed by the bit of magic the witch had unleashed; and just when she thought that she would pass out any moment, Willow realized what she had to do, fighting to hold on longer as she channelled her power again, directing it downwards this time, collecting as much of it as she dared – before she stomped her foot, hard, and the magic burst free, shooting out in a widening circle and making the ground beneath them tremble hard enough so Pat lost her footing and fell, involuntarily letting go of her as she went down.

Snarling, she turned to come to her feet again while Willow fought to stay on hers, sucking in a few deep breaths; she still felt dizzy from how long she had been unable to breathe, finding it hard to focus on anything, even though she knew that she had to, that her lover was fully gone again and capable of doing the Goddess knew what to her.

Gulping in another deep breath, she turned to face the demon, only to nearly stagger back as Pat had recovered much faster than expected and was closing the distance between them yet again, growling under her breath; Willow just had time to see her move her arm back, then the punch hit her, hard enough to make her teeth snap together with an audible clicking sound, stars exploding in front of her eyes as she ended up flat on her back. Without stopping the continuous growl, Pat moved up to her, stopping right next to her and glaring down on her for a moment; then, she bent down, taking firm hold of a fistful of her hair, giving her just another second to realize what was happening before she slammed her head down against the floor, the carpet just taking enough of the force away to prevent her from cracking her skull, but not enough to keep her from getting knocked out, a final, low groan coming from her as her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell unconscious.


	10. Chapter 10

When Willow came back around, it took her a few moments to figure out what had happened and what was going on now; to her dismay, she found herself thrown over her wife's shoulder and being carried that way, the slight bouncing this caused with every step of the demon not helping with her pounding headache and the nauseous feeling in her stomach.

A quick glance around showed her that between being knocked out and waking up again, Pat had not only taken her out of the house, but had made it all the way to the High School with her, giving her a vague estimate of the time she had been out cold; either not noticing or not caring that the witch had woken up, the taller woman kept up her rather brisk pace, walking down the stairs with her now, voices soon reaching her ear, too far away still to let her hear any actual words, but clear enough to let her recognize the Alpha's voice, her blood running cold as she thought of what Pat had gone through and had to ask herself if the same fate was in store for her now.

"Welcome back", she heard Alpha greet her partner as they entered the Hellmouth-room, "and I see you brought some company. I'm glad you made it back, we were starting to get worried."

The only response he got was a vaguely agreeing grunt from Pat, then she stopped walking – and, instead of lowering Willow to the floor more or less gently, simply dropped her, a low noise of dismay coming from the redhead at the impact before she could try to bite it back.

"Miss Rosenberg", Alpha greeted her, smiling slightly, a smile which might have been honest and even benevolent, but scared her nonetheless, as she remembered seeing that exact same smile in her partner's memory, after he had whipped her for the first time, "Willow. I may call you Willow, right? Welcome to our camp, it is quite basic I'm afraid, but if everything goes according to plan, we will move into some nicer lodgings soon."

While he was talking, the witch glanced around inconspicuously, trying not to let her surprise show when she found the whole group alive, including those she had been sure Buffy had taken down; none of them looked any different from when they had met them the first time, and when her gaze finally returned to Alpha again, his smile had widened slightly, telling her that he had noticed what she had been doing and that he knew what she was thinking.

"Yes", he confirmed out loud, "my boys are just fine and dandy again. It took a bit of magic, surely you are familiar with the toll healing magic takes on the caster?"

She nodded before she realized what the implications of this were, swallowing heavily as she asked herself how powerful exactly he was, now also remembering his use of magic to chain Pat up in the memory she had seen; and even though she still felt woozy, she had recovered enough to make the connection, her mind reeling as she figured it out.

 _He's powerful enough to have stopped us when we attacked,_ she had to realize, his smile widening yet again as he clearly knew what she was thinking, _but he didn't use any magic to stop us… so he…_

"You let us take her", she said the conclusion she had reached out loud, the small chuckle he let out in response being enough to confirm this, "that was what you wanted all along…"

"Yes", Alpha now confirmed it out loud as well, "correct. You really are as smart as I thought. In fact, I told her specifically to let you capture her. She wasn't happy about it, as you probably can imagine, but I am her Lord Commander, so she did as she had been told."

"She knows", Willow bluntly replied, prompting him to raise a bushy eyebrow, "she knows what you did to her. Perhaps not everything, not yet, but I triggered the memories, and sooner or later, they'll come back."

"I doubt that", Alpha gave back, "she's loyal to me, no matter what you put into her head. Aren't you, Burning Heart?"

"Yes", the demon curtly replied in response, making him smile yet again; then, his gaze moved to another one of his demons, and he gestured at the witch, sounding as if he had lost interest in her when he told the demon to take her away and lock her up.

"Make sure she's comfortable", he added, a malicious glint in his dark eyes now, "once we took her home with us, she won't be again for a long, long time."

That thinly veiled threat would have made Pat explode under different circumstances, and would have made sure that she'd fight him, until either he or she would be down and unable to go on or maybe even dead; this time though, she didn't react at all, but merely remained where she was, watching how the demon jerked Willow to her feet and marched her off, an uncaring, cold expression on her face.

* * *

 _Keep your calm,_ Willow told herself a few minutes later, now locked up in what probably had been an utility closet before the school had been blown up; she idly wondered if the demons had rebuilt the walls and door just for the purpose of taking prisoners, then shrugged it off, momentarily glad that she wasn't chained up, but also knowing that this was so far the only thing she could be happy about – they hadn't tied or chained her, but the demon taking her there had mumbled some spell under his breath before he had shoved her into the room, and now, a translucent, bright red light moved over the door, the witch guessing that it was magically reinforcing the wood or even acting as some sort of shield, keeping her from using magic of her own.

Remembering what had happened the last time magic had kept her from using her own, she refrained from doing so, the memory of how painful the result had been still uncomfortably fresh on her mind; not sure what to do now, she started pacing up and down in the small room, feeling a bit like a caged tiger as she walked back and forth, her mind racing in an attempt to figure out how to get out of this.

 _You better do so quickly,_ she told herself, uneasy at how perfectly Alpha's plan to have her captured had worked out, and how useless her tries to bring Pat back apparently had been, _you can't count on Pat to get you out of this, and who knows how long it will take Buffy to come here. And if she's too late…_

Unbidden, the scars covering her lover's back resurfaced in her memory, making her swallow heavily as she thought of how badly it must have hurt to feel the whip biting into the skin and flesh, again and again, and how much worse the holy water had made this pain; the holy water per se wouldn't do anything to her, should they use it on her, but on the other hand, she knew that Pat's pain tolerance was way higher than hers, simply thanks to her nature, and that the whip alone probably would be enough to make her faint after a couple of lashes strong enough to break the skin.

"And that's just the tip of the iceberg", she mumbled to herself, a cold shiver running down her spine; she hadn't noticed any more scars, but on the other hand, she hadn't looked all too closely, and from how the demon was behaving now, it was more than obvious that other, dreadful things had been done to her while she had been stuck with Alpha and his cronies.

Briefly, she wondered why exactly Pat even had ended up with such severe scarring, knowing that wounds like whip lashes normally wouldn't have left any; then, she shrugged it off, telling herself that it didn't matter for now, that in this moment, all she should focus on was getting out of this before they could drag her off to the other dimension and do all kinds of horrible things to her.

Deciding that finding out what exactly the field of energy over the door did would be a good first step, Willow took in a deep breath, steeling herself against possible pain, then reached out with her power, her breath slowing down as she focused fully on the task at hand; it didn't take long until her magic made contact with the demon's and to her relief, it didn't cause her pain, some of said relief vanishing again though when she realized how strong that barrier was.

 _Okay, it's strong,_ she then told herself, slowly withdrawing her magic, not sure if the demon who had cast the spell was somehow connected to it and would know if she tried to manipulate it, _but so are you. Remember, you're one of the strongest witches on the planet, if not_ the _strongest, so you can do this. Just keep your calm, nice and slow will do it…_

Lowering herself to the ground into the lotus position, she closed her eyes and emptied her mind, pushing all thoughts of torture, pain and fear as far away from herself as possible; her breath slowed down again as she slowly started working her magic on the barrier, imagining it as a sort of big blanket she'd have to unravel thread for thread, hoping they'd have time to do just that before the demons would come back to take her away.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: This is another chapter which has a few graphic moments, right at the beginning actually, so proceed with caution ;)

* * *

 _The knife was cold on her skin, the pressure of the sharp blade slowly increasing until it parted flesh and muscle, warm rivulets of blood trailing down her arm; clenching her fists tightly, she strained against the metal bonds holding her down on the table, but her struggles didn't deter the Alpha as he merely went on cutting, then put the knife aside, smiling cruelly at her as his fingers found the edge he had made, then pulled, a hoarse scream wrenched from her throat as he, with agonizing slowness, removed a patch of skin, then tossed it aside carelessly, smiling all the while…_

"Burning Heart", Alpha's voice startled her out of her thoughts, and she looked at him, her blank expression showing nothing of what she just had been thinking about, "you have been quiet since you brought the witch."

"I have nothing to say", she gave back with a shrug, making him chuckle slightly, a hint of affection in his voice when he replied. "Indeed, you've never been all too talkative during the years you've served me. It is one of the things I like about you."

She let out a vaguely agreeing grunting noise in reply, making him chuckle yet again; then, he leaned forward, placing his hand on her shoulder, and briefly, she saw his fingers covered in blood and simply knew it was hers, her blood momentarily running cold – before she blinked and it was gone, none of this showing on her face again as she kept all her emotions carefully locked away, the way…

 _The way he had taught her to, after she finally had given in, the day after he had brought that knife down again, only on her face this time, taking…_

"I know the witch put lies in your head", he said, startling her out of her thoughts once more, "you know these things aren't true, don't you?"

"Yes", she replied, after just a second of hesitation, briefly making her wonder if he had noticed – before she had to keep her expression carefully neutral again as she realized that this was the first time in who knew how long that she hadn't been honest with him.

"I can make the thoughts stop", Alpha now went on, not letting it show if he had noticed that anything was amiss, "all those lies she put in there. Do you want me to?"

"No", the Burning Heart gave back at once this time, "I know they are not true, but I want to know what she came up with. It might help with her initiation."

Another lie, and one which came easier to her than the first one she had told; and again, he apparently didn't notice, merely smiling slightly again before he nodded, sounding thoughtful as he replied. "A good point, my friend… What she put into your head might be things she fears, so they might be useful against her."

In response, she just nodded this time, still surprised at her own behaviour – just a few hours ago, lying to him would have been unthinkable to her, her absolute loyalty and honesty being of the things he had drilled into her during the training.

In the far back of her mind, in the darkest corners which were never accessed consciously and willingly, something stirred, bringing up emotions she hadn't felt for a long time, feelings which only increased when she thought of the witch she had captured and had taken here, and of what would await her once they had gone back to their dimension and he started the initiation on her.

 _This is wrong,_ a tiny, barely audible voice whispered to her, nothing of this showing on her face, her expression still as carefully guarded and empty as it usually was when she wasn't killing something or someone for Alpha, _you know this is wrong, you can't let this happen to her…_

A deep, controlled breath shut the voice up, pushed it back to the darkest corners of her mind; briefly, Alpha glanced at her, but apparently did not think that her behaviour was strange in any way, coming to his feet a second later and stretching before he let her know that he'd get some rest.

"I want to open the portal soon", he then added, "and go back, before the Slayer comes around to rescue her friend. Once we got her on our side, no one will be able to stop us."

Not sure if he wanted a reply to that, the Burning Heart just nodded, making him smile slightly; he still took the time to tell her to keep her guard up, just in case the Slayer would drop by sooner than expected, then turned and marched off, making his way to the resting area of their camp.

For a little while longer, she remained where she was, the other demons too busy with whatever task Alpha had assigned them to pay much attention to her; since she was his right hand, just talking to her for the sake of small talk was off limits anyway, the other members of the unit usually just speaking to her when it was related to their duties or an upcoming battle.

Usually, she didn't mind just sitting there, sometimes sharpening her sword, sometimes just going into some sort of standby-mode until she'd be needed again; this time though, she felt uneasy as she sat there with nothing to do, images of torture coming up in her mind's eye again, of Alpha doing all these horrible things to her.

Abruptly, she came to her feet, realizing whom she had to talk to if she wanted these thoughts to stop; she momentarily wondered if perhaps, this would make Alpha angry at her, especially since he had offered to take care of those thoughts for her, then shrugged it off, telling herself that she had every right to speak to the prisoner she had brought here and that he needed to save his energies for the re-opening of the portal, her reasoning allowing her to get moving and make her way to the room they had locked the witch up in.

The magic one of the unit had cast on the door was still active, keeping the redhead from leaving the room; as all spells which were used by the lower members of the unit though, she had the power to undo it, doing so by simply running her hand over the door, the silver band on her ring finger briefly flashing with red light before the magic had been modified to let her through, the door creaking slightly as she pushed it open, exposing the small, dirty room behind it.

In the middle of said room, the witch was sitting on the floor, her eyes closed, but opening slowly as the Burning Heart stepped inside; she briefly smiled, then took a closer look at her face and the smile vanished, replaced by a hint of unease at the hard expression the demon now had.

"You put those lies in my head", the black haired woman accused, not beating around the bush, "make them stop. Now."

"I can't", Willow replied, to her credit not even flinching when the Burning Heart let out a low growl in reply, "because those thoughts aren't lies. You're remembering, aren't you. You're remembering what he did to you."

The fact that she didn't really ask, but merely made a statement, only caused the Burning Heart's anger to grow; another growl came from her, louder this time, and she took a step closer to the redhead, her good eye flashing up red as she replied.

"Alpha wants you alive", she told her in a flat, dangerously calm voice, a voice which showed nothing of the emotions the glow in her eye and the look on her face betrayed, "but that doesn't mean I can't hurt you. Make them stop."

"I can't, and even if I could, I wouldn't", Willow gave back, holding her gaze even though she asked herself how close she was to actually getting hurt, knowing that in her current state, her lover would have no qualms about injuring her, "you need to face this. To see what he did to you, so you can come back to me…"

"He would never do such things to me", the demon protested at once, not really surprising her partner – whatever had been done to her to finally break her, it had been bad enough to completely repress the person she had been before it had happened, and Willow knew that a simple talk and a few fragmented memories wouldn't be enough to undo it.

"I can help you", she went on when the black haired woman didn't attack her immediately, "I can show you… Not the things he did to you, but the things we shared…"

Feeling daring thanks to Pat's lack of response, she made it her turn to take a step closer to her; to her relief, the taller woman still made no move to attack her, but merely stared at her, the glow in her eye still there, even though Willow was quite sure it had lessened slightly.

"I'll let you do what I did to you", she added, fighting the urge to reach out for her, "let you look into my mind… then you'll see that I'm telling the truth, that I'm not lying to you…"

"You'll just put more lies into my head", the demon replied, not sounding as convinced as she had a few minutes ago though; perhaps, Willow pondered, the fact that she showed no fear was helping with making the taller woman believe her words, thus giving her best to sound calm and controlled when she replied, not wanting to risk the small chance she had now.

"I won't even be in your head", she told the black haired woman, making her frown, "you'll be in mine. I promise it won't hurt, and you'll see what it was like before Alpha got his hands on you."

For a second, she thought that it might work, that Pat would agree to her suggestion and that then, it all would be fine; and then, in an instant of spectacularly bad timing, the cry "The Slayer!" went up outside, followed by fighting noises, the demon snapping to attention at once, clenching her fists as she turned towards the door, having lost all interest in Willow.

"No, wait!" Willow cried out as the taller woman got moving, hurrying after her as she strode through the magical barrier, the ring on her hand briefly flashing brightly again, a fact the witch noticed, but filed away for later; moments later, she was stopped harshly as she hit the barrier, forced to stand there helplessly and watch how her lover marched off, her heart sinking as she asked herself if she'd get another chance to make things right.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: This chapter has another somewhat graphic part at the end.

* * *

To her dismay, the Burning Heart had to realize that the Slayer hadn't come alone to get her witch friend out of their grasp, something which would have made dealing with her easier, seeing how much they outnumbered her; clearly, she had thought of this as well, since she had brought people along, two men and one woman, all three of them armed with crossbows, the fact that one of her fellow soldiers was already down and his body was peppered with bolts showing her that they knew how to use them, as well.

"Slayer", she snarled with an audible growl as she spotted the pesky blonde, finding her in battle with the one who was in rank right beneath her; if she had heard her, she didn't let it distract her from the fight, her sword meeting the demon's axe with loud clangs again and again as they battled – until she found an opening in his attack and ran him through, the crossbow bolts of her three friends keeping the other two demons from making their move though, forcing them to remain behind the meagre cover they had found.

"Slayer!" she called again, louder this time, and this time, it worked, the blonde turning to face her; there was an ugly gash across one eyebrow, blood dripping from it, but it didn't seem to faze the smaller woman at all, her gaze clear and defiant as it met hers, the cold, calculating eyes of a fighter.

"Where's Willow", she demanded to know, raising her sword slightly in a silent challenger, "what did you do to her?!"

"Wouldn't you like to know", the Burning Heart teased with a smirk curling her lips, even letting a small chuckle follow; her heart wasn't in it, but she doubted the Slayer was noticing, the way her grip tightened on the sword showing that her taunt had worked just the way she had wanted it to.

"Defeat me, and maybe I'll tell you", she thus added, drawing her sword, the serrated edge glinting, "even though you might not like the answer."

"Banter", the Slayer noted in response, her next words prompting the Burning Heart to raise an eyebrow, "you were better at this before all of this happened. But fine, if you want it that way…"

"Buffy!" she heard one of the two guys, an elder man with already grey hair and glasses call out, shock in his voice; the blonde ignored him though, and so did she, even though a strange thought flashed up in her mind, coming out of nowhere.

 _Giles,_ her brain told her, _his name is Giles._

Briefly, she wondered how she knew this, then shrugged it off; it had been just a second she had been distracted, but it had been enough for the Slayer to launch herself forward and at her, the black haired woman managing to bring her sword up in the last possible instant and blocking the swing the blonde was taking at her.

"You're fast", she then snarled as she took a step back, parrying another attack, taking her time to judge the blonde's strength and speed, "I like that. A worthy opponent."

"You should know that already", Buffy shot back, "you've sparred with me often enough. And you hardly ever won, remember?"

This time, she didn't herself get distracted, but merely snarled in response, blocking yet another swing of the smaller woman's weapon afterwards; from the corner of her eye, she saw how one of her companions started to move, only to flinch back behind his cover when a crossbow bolt whizzed past his ear seconds later, a low curse coming from him as he ducked again.

"Stay down", the Burning Heart snarled, without taking her gaze off Buffy for a second, "I'll take care of this!"

Clearly, he took the command, since she didn't see him move again; immediately, her focus returned fully to the blonde, their weapons clashing again and again as they fought, both of them trying to find an opening in the other's defence, eager to end this fight, even though the outcome the Burning Heart had in mind differed pretty much from what Buffy was planning.

"So where's your boss", the blonde challenged as she took a few steps back, so gracefully that she almost looked as if she was dancing, opposed to the fighting style of her opponent, the taller woman relying on her strength and speed to finish this quickly, "you know, the one who tortured you horribly to make you join him? What did he do to you apart from whipping you, huh?"

Deep inside, Buffy felt bad about doing this, knowing it wasn't exactly nice, but also aware of the fact that, if she didn't want to seriously injure her friend, it was the only way to stop this fight; and thus, she kept it up, now focusing on simply parrying, able to tell from the way the demon's attacks become more and more vicious that her words were having some sort of effect on her.

"Not liking to hear that, do you", she demanded to know, dancing back yet again and just out of reach, "and not willing to answer me? Come on, what else did he do to you? Burn you? Cut you? I bet they got creative, huh? Come on, spill, I've read all about Angelus' exploits when he was the Scourge of Europe, you can't shock me!"

"Shut your lying mouth", Pat snarled in reply, bringing her sword up yet again – only to freeze in mid-movement, her good eye going wide just long enough to let Buffy notice before she staggered, then dropped her sword and slumped down on her knees, pressing both hands against her head as the Slayer's words finally reached that farthest, darkest corner of her mind, bringing back yet another unpleasant, long hidden memory.

* * *

Being chained against the wall had been uncomfortable, especially after yet another whipping, when they had left her with open wounds burning on her back and the back of her thighs, an even more sensitive area Alpha, as she knew was his name by now, had moved on to after the fourth or fifth session, declaring that her back could need some rest; still, it had been better than the position she was in now, and she almost wished to go back to the wall, where the pain had been bad, but not as bad as it was now.

Alpha had declared that he had enough of whipping for now and that it was time for something new; they had chained her wrists in front of her and had connected those manacles to yet another chain, and then had pulled her up until her feet had left the floor, high enough to make sure she wouldn't reach the cold stone again, no matter how hard she tried.

That alone would have been bad enough, her shoulders screaming from the strain this put on them, but of course it wasn't enough for the demon torturing her; he had taken his time to choose what he would use on her, knowing each second would only make the position worse, a cruel smile on his face when he finally turned to face her, a wicked looking hook in one hand now.

"There are a few things you don't know about us yet", he told her as he approached her, his smile widening at the obvious fear in her gaze, "one of them being the details of my magic. Being leader of a demon army is dangerous business, and often my men and women are in dire need of healing… healing I can easily give to them."

The hook came down, digging into her side, a pained groan coming from her, the only noise she could get out – even if she had wanted to scream, after doing so for days, her throat was too raw and damaged to allow more than weak groans and moans, something which clearly didn't stop Alpha though, a malicious glint in his eyes as he moved the hook sideways, tearing her open.

"So don't think death will be your way out of here", he went on, sinews and muscles in his forearm tensing as the hook met resistance, a quick jerk tearing it free again and ripping another helpless sound of pain from her throat, "I can bring you to the brink of it, and then heal you. Again… and again… and again."

A final, brutal pull tore the hook out of her, and she heard _something_ fall to the floor with wet, splattering sounds, the pain so great that she couldn't even try to scream; still, she heard him laugh at her agony, heard him promise that there was so much more to come – before it all became too much to handle and her good eye rolled back into her head, darkness taking her and giving her at least a brief respite from all her pain and fear and terror.


	13. Chapter 13

With a hoarse cry, she slumped forward, both hands pressed against her stomach, against where he had sliced her open when he had gutted her; a shudder ran through her as she thought again of how she had heard things which were supposed to be inside her fall out of her, hit the floor with those gruesome wet sounds.

Dimly, she heard Buffy call out, call out the name she had been referred to before these dreadful things had been done to her; and then, she felt arms wrap around her, soothing hands rubbing her back, the Slayer's voice now kind and concerned as she spoke to her.

"It's okay, it's okay", the blonde told her, not letting the fact that she didn't react at all perturb her, "no matter what they did to you, it's okay… It's over now, you'll be alright, I promise…"

"Willow", the demon brought out in response, once she could be sure she wouldn't throw up the moment she'd open her mouth, "I… I need…"

She staggered to her feet, with enough force to make Buffy let go of her; ignoring how she called out to her, the black haired woman started moving, the two still standing demons rising to follow her, only to end up bombarded with bolts immediately again, one of them getting hit this time and yelping in pain as he slumped back down while his companion ducked just in time, something neither Pat nor Buffy noticed though as the black haired woman was now walking frantically to the room Willow had been locked up in and the Slayer was following her.

Already from afar, Buffy spotted the magical barrier, but obviously, it hadn't been made to stop Pat, since the demon simply reached through it, pulled the door open and stepped into the room behind it; in the small cell, Willow took one step back from her, stopping her work on the – by now considerably weakened – barrier again as it let the taller woman pass, her breath getting caught in her throat when her eyes met her lover's and couldn't find a trace of the Burning Heart there, but only saw her wife, her traumatized and scared and terrified wife, plagued by memories of what had been done to her.

Without a word needed, the witch reversed her direction, moving towards her instead of away from her now, for a dreadful second wondering if her stepping away from her had made her feel even worse; then, they met halfway and she wrapped her into a tight embrace, her heart clenching up at how the taller woman trembled in her arms.

"I'm so sorry", she whispered to her while Buffy stopped at the door, forced to stay outside thanks to the barrier, "if I had known…"

"Don't let him take me back there", Pat almost pleaded in reply, the fear in her voice breaking her lover's heart all over again, "please, if he notices I'm not his anymore, he'll take me back there and he'll hurt me again…"

"I won't let him", Willow promised her at once, still holding her tight and rubbing her back now soothingly, as well, "I promise, I won't let him hurt you again…"

"We have to get her out of here", Buffy called out to them through the barrier, "before he notices what is going on and tries to stop us."

Realizing that she was right, Willow nodded; still it took another minute for her to get Pat to let go of her, the demon still looking terrified as she held on tight to the witch's hand, the state she was in making it hard for the redhead to stay strong, even though she knew she had to, that she had to be strong for both of them now.

"Come on", she cajoled, squeezing the taller woman's hand reassuringly, "you can do this, we just have to get out of here, then I can help you, I promise. We'll get through this, together…"

Her kind words and reassuring touch kept the demon moving, and together, they left the room, the barrier now not holding Willow back anymore, either, something she blamed on the ring her partner still was wearing; up ahead of them, Buffy was hurrying down the hallway, eager to make sure that no one would try to stop them, knowing it was crucial to get Pat out of there now and to a less hostile environment, well aware of the fact that the danger of the black haired woman going back to the Burning Heart personality was far from over.

Briefly, she had time to wonder about the two demons who still were out in the camp's main area, if Giles, Xander and Anya had taken care of them by now or if they were still hiding behind their cover and would try to stop them once they'd realize their general was about to leave with them; then, she reached said area and found the demons still in hiding, both of them snarling the second the spotted Willow and Pat holding hands, none of them making a move to stop them though, well aware of the crossbows still aimed at them.

"Cover us", Buffy called out to her friends, earning brief nods in response; together, the three of them hurried past their friends to the exit, the rest of the group following suit the second they were behind them, still glancing back over their shoulders to make sure the other demons weren't following them.

By now, to the relief of the Slayer and the witch, Pat at least had recovered enough to speed up, the six of them almost running by the time they had made it to the exit; as he ran, Giles already dug out his car keys, glad that he had left it unlocked, even though he briefly worried how they all might fit into the vehicle.

"The four of you go", Xander called out to him, as if he had read his thoughts, "they don't care about Anya and me, we'll run and meet you at Buffy's home!"

"What!" Anya protested immediately, only to fall silent at the look Xander shot her; Buffy gave him a brief grateful look, then they had reached the car, the Brit taking the driver's seat while the blonde got in next to him, Willow and Pat ending up in the back, the witch immediately pulling her partner into a protective embrace again the moment the doors had been pulled shut behind them, holding her close and mumbling soothing words to her as the car took off, quickly taking them away from the Hellmouth and back to the relative safety of Buffy's home.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: This has another somewhat violent scene towards the end!

"We can go back to our place if you like", Willow told her wife a short time later, sitting down next to her on the bed, back in the room they had used before when the demon had been in evil mode and captured by them, "or we can stay here. Whatever you prefer."

"Here", Pat replied at once, briefly gazing at her before she focused on the carpet between her feet again, "he's probably gonna… come back, and we should have Buffy around then…"

Nodding, Willow moved a bit closer to her, then slowly reached out, not wanting to startle her, and took tender hold of her hand, relieved when she didn't pull back, even though she did briefly stiffen up at the contact, just long enough to let her notice.

 _No surprise,_ the witch pondered as they sat side by side in silence, _the only physical contact she had for the Goddess knows how long was when they tortured her…_

"We'll handle this", she promised out loud, giving the demon's hand a tender squeeze, "I promise. Whatever you need, whatever I can do to help you with this, I'll do it, and the rest of the gang, too…"

Deep inside, she knew that this might be much, much harder than she could imagine right now; so far, they had no idea of how long Pat actually had been captured in the other dimension, and of all the things which had been done to her there, the redhead well aware of the fact that her lover might suffer from some form of PTSD now which just hadn't surfaced yet.

"If he comes here, I don't know if I can fight him", the taller woman now said, distracting her from her thoughts, "he's strong and he… he might bring the other one back…"

"I won't let him hurt you again", Willow reassured her again in reply, giving her hand another tender squeeze, "I promise. If he dares to come here, Buffy and I will kick his ass from here to next Sunday, and make him regret he ever laid a finger on you."

"He's strong", Pat gave back, an audible tremble in her voice now, "physically and with magic… he brought me to the brink of death, more than once, and then healed it, just so he could start over…"

She fell silent and took in a deep breath, her body tensing up again; immediately, Willow let go of her hand and wrapped both arms around her again, rubbing her back soothingly in an attempt to calm her down, not wanting to find out what might happen if her partner got too caught up in the dreadful memories.

"That's how he did it, in the end", Pat told her tonelessly after a minute of just breathing deeply, "he… he gave back my eye and…"

…for the first few seconds, it was so overwhelming that all she could do was stare, the mere fact that she now had depth perception again, after years of living without it, being enough to startle her into silence.

"You are impressed, I can tell", Alpha smiled, the first benevolent smile directed at her ever since she had been dragged to his torture chamber, such a long time ago, "and that is just a sliver of my power. I can do much more than that, as you learned by now. And all you have to do to have access to it is follow me."

"Tempting", the demon gave back, after having managed to snap herself out of her stupor, "but, well, you guys are kind of evil. So, still can't do that. Sorry."

"You sure?" Alpha wanted to know, resting his arms on the table they both were sitting at, momentarily surprising her again by pushing a pack of smokes over to her, something she had been deprived of ever since ending up in this place, "why would you mind? You've been evil before, and it's not like your beloved friends came to get you out of here, did they. They didn't even bother to try. You're stuck here, so you might as well make the best of it. Don't you want a smoke?"

"I'm kind of worried they're poisoned or something and will dissolve my lungs", the black haired woman sardonically replied, not letting it show how hard his words about her friends, her _wife,_ not having bothered to try and save her had hit her, her voice surprisingly calm despite the emotional pain from his words and the physical one from the torture – he had given back her eye, but hadn't bothered to heal the rest.

"So suspicious", Alpha gave back, rolling his eyes, then picking up the pack of cigarettes and opening it, moving to pull one of the smokes out – before he held the pack out to her, a slight smirk curling his lips now, disturbingly similar to the smirk he had been displaying when he had flayed her forearm.

"You choose", he half suggested, half ordered, "watch me smoke it, then you have one. You must miss it dreadfully, no?"

The only response he got was that she removed one of the smokes from the pack at random, then tossed it at him; he easily caught it and put it between his lips, then looked at her and raised an eyebrow in a silent question, forcing her to hold back a smirk of her own as she let one finger flame up and held it out to him, a content noise coming from him after he had lit up and had taken the first deep drag.

"See", he then said, after blowing a perfect smoke ring, "no foaming or blood from the mouth or anything. They're perfectly normal smokes. Have one."

Finally, now that she had seen him smoke without dying horribly, she gave in to her need, taking hold of the pack and removing one of the cigarettes; smiling, Alpha watched how she lit it up, then took an even longer drag from it than he had, unable to hold back the look of pure bliss the nicotine caused to appear on her face.

"There's more where that came from, you know", Alpha told her, clearly having noticed how good this was making her feel, "it doesn't have to be the way it has been so far, with all the torture and pain."

"Still no", Pat replied, even though by now, it took her a considerable amount of willpower to decline – she knew that he was honest with her, that it'd be back to the torture and the pain if she kept telling him no, and she was so tired of being in pain. It had been so long since she had ended up in this place, and there hadn't been a day, not even an hour, she hadn't been in pain since then; part of her just wanted it all to end, and she knew that one simple word would be enough to accomplish that, just one word, not even a long one, and all the pain would be gone. He'd heal her, and give her some proper clothes again, and would stop hurting her, perhaps even would become her friend, and if she'd just let it happen for long enough, she might forget about Sunnydale, about Buffy, Giles, Xander, Anya… about Willow and about…

 _About your child,_ the small part of her which still was defiant whispered, causing her heart to clench up, _and your wife, your love, you really want to forget her?_

"I can't", she thus said out loud, clinging to that little bit of willpower, to the thought of her wife and child; to her surprise and slight relief, Alpha just nodded in response, then let out a small sigh, ditching the cigarette before he gave her a regretful look.

"Fine", he then said, "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, because I have grown to admire your stubbornness and strength the last few months. But it seems you leave me no other choice."

While her mind was still reeling from the casual revelation that she had been here for months, had been tortured for months, he got up from his seat, then nodded at someone behind her; and before she could try to react, she was grabbed from behind and roughly jerked to her feet, a startled yelp coming from her as the two demons forced her down onto the wooden table, flat on her back, one of them pinning her arms above her head while the other took hold of her legs, making sure she couldn't kick or punch.

For a dreadful second, she was sure that he would rape her now, something he hadn't done to her so far, for reasons she wasn't quite sure about; she knew though that it was a popular torture method for women, and almost had expected it to happen for the past few days… weeks, once it had become clear that the methods he had used so far wouldn't be enough to break her anytime soon. Then, she saw the knife in his hand, and realized that rape wasn't what he had in mind; her eyes went wide when he grabbed a fistful of her hair with his free hand to hold her still, the malicious smirk back on his face, showing that he enjoyed what was about to come even though he had told her he had hoped it wouldn't be necessary just a minute ago.

"I hope you enjoyed having both eyes while it lasted", he then told her, the knife glinting dangerously as he raised it, making sure she could see the sharp edge, "perhaps, once you've changed your mind, I might give it back to you again. If you prove yourself worthy."

"No, please, no", Pat found herself begging, truly begging, for the first time since this whole ordeal had started, "please don't, please…!"

His grip on her hair tightened as she tried to pull away, his smile widening as her protest was reduced to an unarticulated scream when the knife descended; and then he was cutting, and she was still screaming, this new agony so bad that she knew that she wouldn't, couldn't, stand up to this any longer. When she had lost her eye for the first time, it had been bad, and painful; this time though, it was so much worse, with him taking his time where the priest at least had acted quickly, with a sharp, thin knife edge taking her eye this time while back then, it had been a blunt thumb.

She could feel blood and something else trickle down her cheek, her throat, into her mouth, cutting off her screams and making her gag and choke; and still he was cutting, coaxing her to give in as he did so while the so familiar darkness took hold of her left side again, her sight reduced once more, and that was the exact second her last bits of willpower shattered and she broke along with it, reduced to helpless, incoherent sobbing and pleading while they let go of her again as he stopped cutting. And a while later, the tears stopped, as well, and so did the pain and the thoughts of her life before; and when she got up from the table and he offered to heal her, it wasn't Pat Rosenberg who answered him, but the Burning Heart, all memories of the person she had been banned to the farthest, darkest corner of her mind.


	15. Chapter 15

She was shaking and crying and just couldn't stop, even though Willow was there and was trying so hard to calm her down, rubbing her back and speaking to her in a low, calming voice, words she couldn't understand, couldn't hear through the turmoil of her own thoughts and fear.

 _There's an easy way to stop this,_ a cold, uncaring voice whispered from somewhere deep within her mind, a voice which sounded shockingly like her own, _just give in again. Forget again. No more pain and no more fear. Give in, forget…_

"Pat", she heard Willow say next to her, the word coming through despite the voice in her head coaxing her back into oblivion, even the fact that the witch sounds slightly startled registering in her troubled mind, "Pat, look at me. Sweetie, come on, look at me."

 _She's noticing,_ the small, rational part of her, the part which was still fully her, untouched and untainted by Alpha and his methods, told her, _she's noticing something's wrong._

"Pat", Willow said again, not just startled now, but with a hint of fear in her voice, "no. Stay here with me. Look at me!"

For a few more seconds, Pat didn't react at all, even though she stopped shaking and crying, even appeared strangely calm now; and already before she turned her head, Willow's heart sank, as she knew what she would see before the demon's gaze met hers and it was not her lover, but the Burning Heart looking at her.

"No", she still had time to breath, not even realizing that she should scream for Buffy or call on her magic or both; and before she could do more than that, the demon's hand closed around her throat yet again, giving her time to crazily wonder why the taller woman seemed to have such a liking for grabbing her this way now, and then she hit the wall again as the Burning Heart forced her from the bed and backwards.

"I should just snap your neck", the demon growled, "no matter what Alpha says about wanting you alive."

"But you won't", Willow bravely gave back, not letting the eye contact break for a second, "you can't."

To her relief, she seemed to be right, since the taller woman didn't just do what she had threatened her with; she still knew that she should scream for Buffy, or try to fight back with magic, do anything to get out of this, but found herself unwilling to, not wanting to hurt her partner, not when she was so close to getting her back yet again.

"You're part of her", she added, well aware of the fingers still curled around her throat, the grip oddly gentle now though, almost like a caress instead of a way to keep her from running or fighting, "he might have tried to make you think you're a completely different person, but you're not. You're still my wife, I love you…"

Still without breaking the eye contact, she moved one hand, grasping the black haired woman's free one and moving it until the palm laid against her rounded stomach, the demon to her relief not trying to resist her or to pull away; her heart skipped a beat when she noticed the Burning Heart swallow heavily as she touched her belly, a reaction she immediately latched on to, managing to keep her voice surprisingly calm as she spoke on.

"You know this is our child, don't you", she mumbled, feeling like rejoicing when she felt the taller woman tenderly caress her in reply, "and you remember how it was created. He tried to make you forget, but he couldn't, you remembered, all this time…"

Deciding that it was time to be even more daring now, she moved both hands this time, to the small of the demon's back, something the Burning Heart let happen without trying to stop her; with gentle pressure, she pulled her partner closer, as close as the pregnancy allowed it – and then she pressed her lips to the taller woman's, in a firm, but still gentle and even innocent kiss, the gobsmacked reaction of the other woman not allowing for it to deepen.

For a few seconds, nothing else happened, the demon reacting neither with violence, nor with kissing her back; and then, from one heartbeat to the next, her hand suddenly slid from around her throat to the back of her neck, and she did kiss her back, with so much fervour and need that it was an almost brutal kiss, startling the witch so much that now, she nearly was the one who forgot how to react to this.

Then, she regained her senses and tightened her embrace, feeling how the demon's other arm wrapped around her waist in response, pulling her even closer, until they were pressed against each other, neither of them breaking the kiss – if it had been possible, it would have deepened even further, and as it was, it made both of them breathe heavier as they kept kissing, the redhead not even pulling back when she felt something hot and wet against her cheek and realized that her lover was crying yet again.

Still, she didn't pull back yet, only doing so once she started to fear that she might faint from lack of air; the second their lips were apart, she took in a deep breath – and it was fortunate that she had done so, since almost immediately, her wife kissed her again, another passionate kiss, even though it was slightly less aggressive than the one they had shared before.

"Okay", she panted after they had pulled apart yet again a short time later, "as much as I love kissing you, give me a few minutes now, or I'm gonna faint."

Even though the demon didn't look all too happy with that, she nodded, making the smaller woman smile slightly; to her relief, the flow of tears had stopped again, and a second, closer look told her that the Burning Heart had been pushed back down once more and that Pat was back there with her, the witch finding herself thinking of them as two different entities even though she knew they were part of the same.

"Stay with me now", she mumbled after another moment, tightening her embrace around the taller woman yet again, "don't… let that part of you take over again… please, I need you here with me, I thought you're dead after you fell, that I'd lost you forever, so you can't do this to me now…"

"I'm sorry", Pat gave back, a small sigh escaping her afterwards, "I wish I could have been strong enough to not let this happen, but…"

"Don't", Willow interrupted her, almost absent-mindedly caressing her back, her heart briefly clenching up as she felt some of the rougher scar tissue beneath the fabric of the taller woman's shirt, "don't do this. After all they did to you, it was the only chance you had to survive this, and you were strong enough to come back to me."

"For now", the demon mumbled in response, another sigh following those words, "I don't know how long that'll hold up. If it gets bad enough, the other one's gonna make a comeback, and I don't want her to hurt you…"

"Not going to happen", Willow reassured her at once, prompting her to raise an eyebrow, "this… other one, as you call her, it's not some different entity or something. It's you, part of you, probably the one part which was strong enough to take over after what had been done to you, so you could deal…"

"You sure", Pat wanted to know, sceptical, "that's not what it feels like."

"Yes", the witch confirmed at once, giving her a slight smile, "and I'm the one with a doctor in psychology, so you better believe me."

Her slightly swanky words had the effect she had been hoping for, namely making the taller woman smile slightly; she didn't laugh, but the redhead hadn't been expecting that, figuring that chuckles or even laughter would come harder to the black haired woman now than they had before, after everything which had happened to her.

"You'll see", she added after a moment, sounding much more tender now, "it's going to be alright. Even if that other one comes back out again, I know you won't hurt me, and once we got rid of Alpha and his peeps, we'll figure out how to help you with… everything that happened."

This time, Pat didn't express doubt, but merely pulled her closer, and held on tight to her; and while she revelled in finally being held close by her lover again, Willow returned to the embrace, rubbing her back yet again, silently reassuring her that it would be alright and that no more harm would come to either of them.


	16. Chapter 16

Sitting on a bed had reminded the demon of how long it had been since she had actually slept in one; and even though they both knew that Alpha and the demons he still had with him might strike any time, Willow encouraged her to get some rest, figuring that she could need it and that it would only help her to deal with what laid ahead of them.

Knowing that she could need the closeness and comfort, the redhead settled down on the bed with her lover, taking her into a tender embrace; usually, she pondered as she held the taller woman close, Pat's head having come to rest on her shoulder, they'd lie like this the other way round, with her snuggled up to Pat, but this time, it was the right thing to do, the way her lover had relaxed almost immediately showing her that this indeed was just what her wife needed.

"Just an hour", the demon now mumbled, distracting her from these ponderings, "know we gotta prepare but… I'm so tired…"

"It's alright", Willow quietly reassured her, moving one hand to caress her hair, knowing full well that this would help her relax and hopefully would send her off to dreamland faster, "Buffy's downstairs, she'll alert us the second anything suspicious happens. Until then, get some sleep, this is the best way to prepare for fighting now."

 _After all you've been through,_ she added, a thought she didn't say out loud – she knew the danger of her partner waking up as the Burning Heart again, and knew how likely it was that she would have nightmares from the moment on she'd be sound asleep, but still felt that there was no need to add any extra risk for any of this happening by reminding her of what had been done to her.

 _Reminding her,_ the most rational part of her brain pondered, almost sardonically, _as if she isn't thinking about it all the time. Just look at her._

Holding back a sigh, not wanting to alert her partner to the dark thoughts which were bothering her, she forced her mind away from that gruesome topic and fully focused on the taller woman instead, on the feeling of her head resting on her shoulder and the strands of hair beneath the palm of her hand; said hair felt as if it could need a wash, leading her to question the hygienic standards of Alpha and his little group, but at least, she then reasoned, her partner didn't stink, even though she doubted she would have minded much even if Pat had smelled bad enough to make her eyes water.

 _Not after not knowing if she's dead or not, and not after how she was when she came back,_ Willow pondered while the demon fell asleep, her slowing breath showing how much she was relaxing, _once we got rid of Alpha and his minions, we gotta figure out how to keep that part of her from taking over again…_

She nearly shuddered at the idea of the Burning Heart coming back during a fight, and turning against them; and then, an even more unpleasant thought occurred to her, the mental of image of Pat's expression suddenly changing and hardening during making love, strong fingers closing around her throat again instead of caressing her as the darkness which had been forced upon her broke through again.

 _Don't be silly,_ she then chided herself, once more forcing those thoughts aside, _even if that did happen, she wouldn't harm you, no matter how much they broke her, they couldn't break her enough to let her hurt you._

Briefly, she was amazed at the level of devotion this showed, even though she shouldn't be surprised about it anymore – after all, by now, Pat had made it more than clear how far she was willing to go for her, risking life and limb countless times to save her, even jumping straight into the Hellmouth just to make sure she'd be okay.

"I love you", she mumbled to the by now soundly sleeping demon, smiling slightly when she earned a low snore in response, "and I won't let him harm you again, I promise."

For a few moments, she tightened her embrace on the taller woman, still caressing her hair tenderly; and then, she just laid there, focused on the calm breathing of her wife and on how good it felt to have her back, confident that they would deal with Alpha and his minions as fast as possible and that afterwards, Pat and she would make it through whatever challenges the things she had gone through would bring to their lives.

* * *

"So", Buffy started an hour later, after both Willow and Pat had gotten some rest and the demon finally was up to leaving the bedroom and discussing how to proceed, "it's good to have you back, Pat."

"Thanks", the taller woman gave back at once, even managing a slight smile, "good to be back. Not sure how long I can stay though, the other one… or that part of me… is still going strong."

"We'll deal with that once we took care of Alpha", Buffy confidently replied, "no worries there."

Even though she wasn't as confident about this as the Slayer, Pat made herself smile slightly and nod; the blonde took another moment to smile back at her, then grew serious again, the same emotion in her voice when she spoke on, her words and tone showing that now, the time to rest and relax was over and that it was time for business.

"I know you won't want to think about this", she cautiously started, eying the black haired woman for signs which might tell her that the other one was taking over again, despite her reassurance that even then, it would be fine, "but we really need some information on this guy, so…"

"It's not that I don't want to think about it", Pat gave back at once, the sudden weariness in her voice prompting Willow to reach over and to grasp her hand tenderly, giving her some quiet comfort, "I don't remember much I _could_ think about. When the other one is there, it's like I'm… going to sleep. I remember getting up from that table after he… after another bout of torture, and after that, the next thing I'm aware of is Willow showing me the scars."

Neither Willow nor Buffy knew for sure how much time had passed between those events, and from the helpless look on her face, Pat had no real idea, either; for a minute, there was silence as they thought about what the demon had said, then the blonde cleared her throat, sounding cautious as she replied, knowing that this probably was a bad idea, but they didn't have much of a choice if they wanted to learn anything about their opponent.

"We have to talk to… the other one", she told the demon, not surprised by how her gaze immediately darkened, showing what she thought of this idea, "she will know."

"No", Pat gave back immediately, shaking her head for emphasis, "I can't let that happen. If I let… her out, if she takes over, she'll try to hurt you. She's loyal to him, he made sure of that…"

"Not as loyal as you might think right now", Willow gently told her, not liking the idea, but like Buffy knowing they didn't have much of a choice, "she didn't hurt me even when she had the chance. And when I kissed you, it brought you back, I can bring you back again, I promise…"

Momentarily, Buffy wondered when the thing with the kiss had happened, then shrugged it off as not important, figuring that Willow would tell her more once the time was right and they didn't have such pressing matters at hand, her voice tender as well now when she spoke up again, making the taller woman's gaze move from the redhead to her again.

"And I won't let you harm Willow, or me, or anyone", she promised, "and you know we wouldn't ask this from you if there was any other way, but right now, this is the only chance we have to learn anything about this guy, and about his plans."

"I know", Pat admitted, still sounding doubtful, "but… I just don't want any of you to get hurt… and honestly, I don't even know if I can bring her out on purpose. It just… happened when the pain got too bad."

"Try", Buffy encouraged, making Willow glad that she was the one to do so, the redhead not sure if she had been able to ask this from the woman she loved, "if it doesn't work, we'll figure something else out, but we at least have to try. Please?"

It was the simple plead which pushed Pat over the edge, after just having received orders for so long, without any gratitude ever being given to her; she took in a deep breath, then nodded once, swallowing heavily afterwards as she asked herself how exactly she should coax that certain part of herself up to the surface.

 _You know how,_ a small, treacherous voice whispered from the far back of her mind, _just think about what he did. Think about your eye and that knife coming down._

Her heartrate nearly tripled as the words brought said image up in her mind's eye, unbidden and with startling clarity; how she had laid flat on her back, the demons holding her with ease, her body weakened after months of torture, and how he had smiled as he had brought the knife down, pressing the sharp edge against the eye he just had given back…

The changes were subtle, too small for anyone who didn't know her well to notice; both Buffy and Willow did though, the Slayer holding her breath while the witch just watched in amazement, this time able to pinpoint the exact second Pat was gone and it was the Burning Heart sitting there, the take-over evident from the way she set her jaw and her gaze became cold and uncaring, her whole posture and body language changing, turning her from a traumatized woman into a battle-hardened soldier.


	17. Chapter 17

"Interesting", she commented after a brief, but thorough look at her surroundings, "you told her to let me out to play, didn't you."

"Yes", Willow bravely replied, trying hard to hide how much this was freaking her out – even though she had been the one to tell Pat that this woman wasn't some completely different entity, but merely a part of her, it was hard to remember that, after watching that change happen so thoroughly, and it took almost all of her willpower to keep her from flinching back when that icecold stare focused on her the second the single word had left her mouth.

"I'm not sure if that makes you very brave, or very stupid", the Burning Heart told her, not even glancing at Buffy, having dismissed her entirely for now, "if you think I will tell you anything about my Lord Commander's plans and commands, I have to say though that stupidity seems more likely than bravery."

"We need to know", Buffy finally said something as well, unnerved just as much as Willow had been when that cold gaze focused on her in response, "and you're the only one who can tell us."

"That I am", the Burning Heart agreed, now with a hint of amusement in her voice, even though said emotion didn't reach her eye, "but what makes you think I will tell you anything? I am loyal to my Lord Commander."

"Because if you don't tell us", Buffy replied, choosing her words carefully, "we won't know when he'll hit us, and what his powers are. We won't know how to defeat him, and you, being a soldier, are surely aware that knowing is half the battle."

"Indeed", the demon agreed, now even smirking slightly, "but that still doesn't answer my question. I have no reason to tell you anything about his plans and goals."

"You do", Willow now spoke up again, this time prepared for the icy glance focusing on her, "if you don't tell us, he might win. Then he'll capture me and take me to where he took you, to his little dungeon, and you know what he'll do to me there."

"He'll torture her", Buffy threw in before the Burning Heart could reply anything, noticing that this time, the taller woman wasn't looking at her immediately, but kept her gaze focused on Willow, "like he tortured you."

This time, at least, the demon didn't try to protest and to tell them that Alpha would never do something like that to her; instead, she just kept looking at Willow, the witch holding her gaze bravely, making sure she sounded honest and tender when Buffy fell silent and gave her another chance to say something.

"You know it's true", she told the taller woman, daring to reach out and gently cup her cheek, her thumb tracing the scar running through her ruined eye, "you remember, don't you. And Buffy's right, he'll do the same things to me, to break me… like he broke you."

She fell silent for a few seconds, giving her wife the chance to say something; when no response came though, she continued, still keeping her hand resting against her cheek, a tender touch the demon, to her relief, didn't try to move away from, merely holding her gaze and sitting perfectly still.

"Remember what you told me, all those years ago?" she wanted to know, both of them having forgotten that Buffy was in the room with them, the Slayer watching and listening in breathless silence, not daring to move an inch, afraid of what might happen, should the Burning Heart remember that she was in the room with them.

"You said that I'm your life", Willow went on, "remember that? And at our wedding, when you promised to protect and to cherish me, and I promised I'd do the same for you… You told me once you'd die for me if you had to…"

"You kissed me", the demon mumbled in reply, sounding slightly dazed, "upstairs. You knew I wasn't her and you kissed me anyway."

"I did", Willow confirmed, "because, even if you believe it, you are not two different persons. As I said, you are the part of her which was strong enough to deal with… what was happening. You needed to take control to survive."

Having taking psychology classes as well, Buffy wasn't sure if this was an accurate diagnosis; apparently though, the Burning Heart seemed to believe it, some of the coldness and hardness gone from her eye and voice as she replied. "You might be telling me the truth. But I still cannot reveal the plans of my Alpha."

"You don't have to be loyal to him anymore", Buffy spoke up for the first time, making her look at her as if she only just had remembered she was there; when she made no move to attack her though, the blonde felt courageous, hurriedly speaking on before the demon could change her mind and try to jump her over the table.

"After all he did to you?" she wanted to know, raising an eyebrow, "everything he put you through? You don't mean to tell me you still don't believe what you remember now isn't real."

"…I don't know", the taller woman gave back, one hand coming up without her even consciously noticing and briefly touching the thin scar running across her ruined eye; neither Willow nor Buffy had been told what she had remembered about this certain injury, but from how her expression hardened, it was obvious that it hadn't been pleasant.

"We came here to scout", she then said, all at once, the words leaving her in a rush as if she was trying to get them out as fast as possible, before she might change her mind or her conditioning might try to stop her, "to find out how strong you are. He knows all about you, Slayer, and about you, Willow… and the rest of the gang… The weak one told him… I told him everything."

She fell silent, then took in a heavy breath, briefly closing her good eye; and when she opened it again, it wasn't the Burning Heart looking at the two women anymore, but Pat, looking tired and frightened, but immensely relieved, as well, Willow only now realizing that, when she had let the Burning Heart take over, she hadn't been sure what might happen and if she'd be able to take control yet again.

"He wants you", she went on, even managing a weak smile when Willow reached out and tenderly grasped her hand, "as you know. He'll do all these things to you, to make you… like me."

"That's what he wants to do", Buffy gave back, making the demon look at her again, "but we're not going to let this happen. We'll keep Willow safe."

"I'm not sure how he wants to get her", Pat mumbled in response, glancing at the redhead's hand holding hers, as if she only noticed the touch now, "if he'll attack us here or if he'll wait for us to come to him…"

"We're not gonna walk into his hideout again", Buffy decided in response, "if he wants Willow, he'll have to try to take her from here."

"Yes", the witch agreed at once, "and we'll be ready for him. He's caused enough pain for us, let him come here and see that he messed with the wrong people."

To her relief, the boast had the effect she had been hoping for, namely making Pat smile slightly again; she smiled back at her, then asked if she wanted to get some more rest, earning a hesitating nod from the taller woman after a few moments.

"But I'd like a shower first", she then added, letting go of the witch's hand, for the first time since she had regained control over the Burning Heart sounding almost like herself again, "they… weren't big on hygiene there."

That, she reflected, had to be the understatement of the year, as another brief memory flashed up in her mind, of how she had hung in the chains in that dreadful dungeon, the whole area smelling of blood and urine and sweat, the stink only having added to her torment.

"Sure", Willow gave back, "take as long as you like. If I'm not mistaken, we both got some clothing here, I'll go find you something to wear."

With a vaguely agreeing noise, Pat came to her feet, prompting Willow to do the same; Buffy remained where she was, deep in thought while the two left the room, pondering how to face the Alpha and how to take him out without giving him the slightest chance to get his hands on Willow or the demon once more.


	18. Chapter 18

Only once she stood beneath the hot running water, Pat realized how much she had missed the simple pleasure a warm shower could give; during her time in the other dimension, the only hygiene measures she had been given were buckets of ice cold water they poured over her, only washing off the worst grime, but never giving her the chance to get properly cleaned.

Closing her good eye, she simply relaxed for a while, not bothering to pay attention on how much time was passing by; only now, she noticed how tense she was, had been ever since the Alpha had taken her back to Sunnydale through his portal, a realization which caused her to wonder if part of her had been aware of what he had done to her the whole time, something which only would be another indicator that Willow's theory about the Burning Heart being part of her had been correct.

A knock at the door distracted her from those ponderings, and actually startled her; reminding herself of where she was and of the fact that she was safe there, she took in a deep breath, then called out "Yes?", the sound of the door opening coming moments later, the shower curtain keeping her from seeing who was entering though.

"It's me", she heard Willow say, accompanied by her footsteps, "I found you some clothing, I'll just put it on the cupboard next to the sink, alright?"

"Yeah, fine", the taller woman gave back, suddenly and painfully aware of how what had happened had changed her – she still remembered well how she had been before she had ended up in this other dimension, and back then, she would have opened the shower curtain and would have asked the witch to join her, something which seemed unthinkable to her now though, the thought of being touched in a way that wasn't causing pain almost unimaginable to her.

 _Don't be stupid_ , she then scolded herself, still not moving a muscle though, _you know she'd never hurt you. She's not like him, you know that._

"Do you need anything else?" Willow distracted her once more; she declined, then let out a vaguely agreeing noise again when the redhead told her she'd wait for her in the bedroom, then, wondering if she was thinking the same as she heard her leave, if she thought back to the times the demon had asked her to join her in the shower or the bathtub, always with a certain glint in her good eye.

Holding back a sigh, Pat finally reached for the shower gel, figuring that she had been standing there doing nothing for long enough now; she still took her time with washing her body, then her hair, feeling much better by the time she got done. The softness of the towel Willow had readied for her only increased her well-being, and by the time she had pulled on the clothing – underwear, a simple black t-shirt and pants of the same colour – she almost felt like herself again, for a few moments even forgetting the things which had been done to her and the pain she had gone through for the last few months.

Taking in a deep breath in an attempt to keep those thoughts at bay, she took another brief look at the mirror, making sure she looked presentable; briefly, she wished for one of her eyepatches, figured though that, if Willow hadn't provided her with one, none of them was at Buffy's home, then shrugging it off and, after another slow, controlled breath, left the bathroom, not really surprised to find Willow waiting for her in the bedroom adjoined to it.

"Hey", the witch smiled at her, getting up from her seat on the bed and moving over to her, the taller woman noticing though that she made no move to hug her or get close to her in any other way, "feeling better?"

"Cleaner, at least", Pat gave back, momentarily feeling awkward as she wasn't sure what to do next; then, the urge to feel her partner's, her wife's touch, overrode the fear of physical contact the torture had instilled into her, and she closed the distance between them, her heart skipping a beat when immediately, Willow wrapped both arms around her and held her close.

Letting out a shuddery breath, the demon returned the embrace, allowing herself to forget the world around her for a few seconds as she simply enjoyed how good this felt, enjoyed the redhead's smaller body against hers, her warm breath on her neck and the so familiar scent of her hair and body.

"You're so tense", Willow mumbled as she rubbed the taller woman's back, slightly alarmed at how tense exactly her partner was, the muscles she could feel as hard as stone, "you know you're safe here, relax…"

"I know", the demon replied, her muscles not loosening up though; and even though she wasn't sure if the idea would be welcome, the witch decided she had to do something about that, pulling back from the embrace and giving her partner a calming smile while she gestured at the bed, the taller woman raising an eyebrow when she asked her to sit down.

"I'll just help you relax a bit", she added at the uncertain look on the demon's face; to her relief, Pat apparently decided that she meant no harm and sat down on the edge of the bed, watching her curiously as she moved to sit behind her, the witch taking the time to carefully move her hair over her shoulders so it hung down her front, then placed her hands on her back, her fingers quickly finding the hardest knots there.

With skilled fingers, she began to work on said knots, soon earning a low groan from her partner, the noise a mixture of pleasure and pain – it wasn't the first time Willow was massaging her, but thanks to her tenseness, it wasn't the pure pleasure it always had been before.

"Sorry", Willow mumbled behind her, well aware of what the groan had meant, knowing it hadn't been a noise of simple enjoyment, "I'd avoid hurting you if I could, but…"

"S'okay", the demon gave back, then fell silent as she focused on the massage; thanks to the shirt she was wearing, it wasn't as effective as it could have been, something Willow pointed out as well a few minutes later, a hint of caution in her voice as she spoke up.

"You know", she started, "not to be inappropriate or anything, but this might be easier and more effective if you took off your shirt. And perhaps laid down?"

 _Inappropriate_ , Pat thought to herself, more of her old personality resurfacing, _she's your wife, so how could this be inappropriate?_

"Sure", she thus just said out loud, then pulled her shirt over her head before she could change her mind; briefly, she thought of the scars criss-crossing her back, then pushed those worries aside, telling herself that Willow had seen them before, that she had been the one to point them out to her in the first place.

Once more amazed at the softness of the bed, after she had spent such a long time chained to a hard stone wall, the demon laid down on her stomach, feeling the slight bounce of the mattress as Willow moved to her side, getting into a positon which would make it easier for her to continue with the massage; without even noticing it fully, she let her good eye drift close as the redhead's hands began working on her muscles again, the noise she let out after another minute one of pure content.

Smiling, Willow ignored the slight pain in her fingers, pondering how, thanks to her strong hands, Pat was the one better suited for the task of massaging someone; her by now rather advanced pregnancy didn't make it any easier, either, but she didn't let this stop her, the small groan Pat had let out being more than enough of an incentive to make her go on, her need to make the demon feel better overpowering the small discomforts.

Feeling that by now, the taller woman had relaxed considerably, Willow stopped working on her muscles, and began rubbing her back instead, with slow, careful movements; she could feel the rough scar tissue beneath her palms, her heart clenching up as she thought of the pain her lover had had to endure, her smile vanishing and a frown creasing her brow when all at once, Pat went tense beneath her hands again, as if she hadn't relaxed at all.

"It's him", the demon said before Willow could ask her what was wrong, prompting her to pull her hands back in shock as the taller woman sat up quickly, looking so agitated now that the redhead was surprised she wasn't trembling from head to toe, "he's coming, I can feel it…"

As if in reaction to her words, the silver ring he had given her when she had accepted the place by his side as the Burning Heart started to glow, making both Willow and her look down on it; and then, they heard Buffy call out "We're getting company!" downstairs, all colour draining from Pat's face as she just sat there, knowing that there was no way she could fight Alpha, the mere thought nearly making her throw up with fear and showing her once more how much he truly had broken her.


End file.
